How-to

  • Editing, How-to, Writing

    How to make your dialogue shine

    Give your fictional conversations a glow-up with these tips for talking on the page.

    We talk to other humans all day, every day, so why is it so hard to write realistic conversations between fictional people?

    Probably because effective written dialogue has very little in common with the kind of chats we have in the real world.

    In real life, we make polite small talk, fail to finish our sentences, go on meandering side quests, stumble and stutter and um and ah. It’s how we make each other feel comfortable, but if you tried to replicate it on the page it would be so tedious your reader would very quickly find something (anything) else to do.

    Instead, you want to aim for a glazed version of the real thing, like a hamburger that’s been artfully anointed with hairspray to look mouthwatering in an advertising campaign.

    If you’re struggling to write great banter or get your characters’ convos flowing, start with these tips.

    Eavesdrop on strangers

    This is less about what people are saying and more about how they say it. Listen to the rhythms in people’s speech and the way they dance back and forth with each other. We tend to use shorter words over longer ones, punchier sentences over lengthy, complex phrases. But don’t get too caught up in replicating those choppy rhythms – you need some variety in there too. It’s all about balance. Remember, you’re aiming for real-ish!

    Do use contractions

    I beg you! If you’re writing contemporary fiction, load up your apostrophe splatter gun and keep your finger on the trigger. ‘I’m’ rather than ‘I am’; ‘it’s’ instead of ‘it is’; ‘can’t rather than cannot’ – and so on. Your characters will instantly sound so much more authentic. And when you do want to use the full word for a moment of emphasis, the contrast will mean it lands with the right amount of gravitas.

    Read it aloud

    As a journalist, I was taught to prioritise phone interviews over email questionnaires for the simple reason that people tend to sound like robots when they write things down. If your dialogue isn’t sparking joy, it might be that your writing voice is defaulting to formal settings. You won’t know it till you hear it, so raise your voice and loosen up.

    If you’re dropping words like ‘whilst’ or ‘therefore’, it’s easy to hear where formality has taken the reins. But it can also fly under the radar with something as small as a conjunction. One of my personal bugbears is the use of ‘as’ in place of ‘because’. I find it can drain the life from dialogue, instantly lending it an oddly formal feel:

    • ‘I couldn’t make it today as I got held up at work.’
      ‘I hate gerberas as they remind me of hospitals.’

    If you read those sentences out loud you’ll hear just how stilted and unnatural ‘as’ sounds in this context. But replace that ‘as’ with ‘because’, or maybe even a dash, and it’ll sound much more alive.

    • ‘I couldn’t make it today – I got held up at work.’
      ‘I hate gerberas because they remind me of hospitals.’

    It’s a small change, but effective!

    Give it purpose

    Dialogue does a lot of heavy lifting in storytelling. It’s action, bringing characters together to do something, learn something, make a decision or feel their feelings. It also reveals the characters’ intentions, secrets, fears and hopes. For that reason, every line has to work hard.

    When you’re writing dialogue, think about the purpose of the conversation. How is it moving the story forward? What do you want the characters to discover or decide? What dialogue shows your purpose effectively, and what might be diluting your purpose? For example, you don’t need the filler that we rely on in real conversations – hi, how are you, how was your day. Take us directly to the main course: ‘Where were you?’

    Consider the subtext, too. Often, what characters don’t say is what gives a scene an undercurrent of tension. Rather than tell us exactly what your character is thinking in the dialogue, can you show a disconnect between what they’re saying and what they’re feeling? Perhaps one of your characters is putting on a brave face while screaming inside, or they’re trying to remain calm in a stressful situation. The contrast between their dialogue and their inner narrative creates instant drama.

    Avoid name-dropping

    A surefire way to overcook your dialogue is to throw in lots of names. Like this:

    • ‘Look, Anna, it’s not about you, it’s just the way it turned out.’
    • ‘Is that so, Chloe? Because last time I checked, I was still the boss of this company.’
    • ‘Oh, get off your high horse, Anna!’

    In real life, we rarely address people by name, so overdoing it in fictional dialogue can be distracting or give an unintended patronising edge. If you’re aiming for sarcasm, however, a well-timed name-drop might be perfect. Just use this technique sparingly.

    Ground it in movement

    Dialogue with too many speech tags can start to feel like a game of tennis: 

    • ‘What’s going on?’ I asked. 
    • ‘We’re heading to the stakeout,’ he whispered. 
    • ‘Well, I’m coming,’ I said.
    • ‘Fine. Just don’t hold us up,’ he replied.

    Your first thought might be to pull out most of the speaker attributions and let the dialogue roll merrily on. But that can leave dialogue sounding weirdly disembodied. A nice solution is to add a bit of movement and interiority. Use a mix of physical action beats and interior narration to anchor the characters in the setting and layer up emotion.

    • ‘What’s going on?’ I asked.  
    • John glanced over his shoulder. ‘We’re heading to the stakeout,’ he whispered.
    • My stomach lurched. There was no hiding now, only damage control. ‘Well, I’m coming.’
    • He paused, eyes narrowed, considering. ‘Fine. Just don’t hold us up.’

    Ditch maid-and-butler dialogue

    This is the fancy name for the kind of dialogue that repeats what characters already know for the benefit of the reader. It’s another form of info-dumping and is best avoided:

    • ‘As you know, I moved to Sydney ten years ago from a small town in the outback.’
    • ‘You know how Cheryl was the one to catch John with his hands in the till?’

    If you’re using dialogue to catch the reader up on backstory, see if you can find a more compelling way of sharing the information.

    • ‘It’s funny – Sydney still doesn’t feel like home, even after ten years. I guess you can’t really ever shake the outback out of someone.’
    • ‘John’s getting out of prison on Monday. Do you think anyone’s warned Cheryl? I reckon he’s out for revenge.’

    Consider character background

    The most important note I can give you is to consider characterisation. From your POV characters to your supporting cast, each person should have their own voice. How would their upbringing, their background, their age and their personality affect their word choice, syntax and rhythm? When you nail this, your readers will know who’s talking without you even having to tell them. And that’s when you’ve nailed the craft of dialogue.

    If you’d like more help with your dialogue, get in touch for a free sample edit of your project. 

    Ready to learn how to punctuate dialogue? Head here.

  • Editing, How-to, Writing

    Tips for using expletives in fiction

    Do you use expletives in your fiction writing? Here are some pointers to keep in mind when you’re dropping those swear bombs.

    I’m here for expletives in writing – a well-timed F bomb or a creative obscenity can inject tension, humour and relatability into dialogue and inner narratives. But like anything, too much can ruin the effect. Here are some pointers to keep in mind when you’re writing expletives into your fiction. 

    Don’t overdo it

    The first rule of expletives is: the more you use them, the less impact they have. Most readers won’t notice if your characters don’t swear, but they will notice (and might be put off) if they’re total potty mouths. Try to hold back and drop in those swear words only when they’re really need to enhance a dramatic moment or reveal character.

    Remember, dialogue isn’t supposed to be a perfectly accurate portrayal of real speech; it just gives the impression of real speech, but is usually far more concise, clear and engaging. So even though you might throw around a lot of casual swear words in your everyday conversations with friends, the same sort of carefree cursing might not translate authentically on the page.

    For inspiration on how to write tension without profanities, check out Lee Child’s work – although he writes gritty action thrillers, he famously doesn’t use any graphic language.

    They’re not a shortcut to character

    It’s a common trap to stuff sentences with expletives (effing, damn etc) in an effort to create a tough character or a distinctly masculine voice, especially if you’re not used to writing these types of characters. Problem is, not only is this tiring on the ear, it doesn’t really tell us much about who this character is. 

    Instead, spend some time getting to know your character, thinking about their influences and background to inform the speech patterns and delivery styles that would make sense for them. For instance, a softly spoken threat or insult can be far more powerful than an angry ‘eff off’.

    Use it when it’s least expected

    Contrast is a great way to capture your readers’ attention. Do you have a prim character who always does the right thing? Someone who blushes or bristles at the slightest hint of a four-letter word? Let them drop a spicy swear bomb in a pressurised moment and enjoy the shockwaves.

    Be creative

    A creative swearer is far more interesting and enjoyable to read than a regular curser. Leaning into more unexpected profanities can inject humour into a scene and tell us a lot about your character.

    Take inspiration from Shakespeare, the master of foul-mouthed rants and insults, like this one from Henry IV: “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”

    Ouch, right?!

    Or follow Douglas Adams’ lead and reassign meaning to an unlikely word for laughs. In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, ‘Belgium’ is considered the most offensive word in the universe.

    When not to use expletives

    Expletives won’t be right for all kinds of books. For instance, if you’re writing middle grade or young adult fiction, it might not be appropriate to use swearing so you’ll need to find another way to allow your characters to let off verbal steam. 

    I’ve also heard that it’s best to avoid swearing in the opening pages of your novel, lest you put off readers sampling the first chapter. The theory goes that they might overlook some casual cursing once the story gets going and they’re familiar with the characters, but can be offended if they see it straight off the bat.

    I’m not a fan of prescriptive rules like these – and you’ll find plenty of fantastic books that break them – but it can be worth bearing in mind and considering whether all of your expletives really need to be on the page or if you can find a better way to get your character’s point across. Are you using expletives to ramp up intensity, and would an action beat or tighter dialogue do a more effective job?

    Finally, it has to make sense for your voice too. If it doesn’t feel good for you to use swear words in your fiction, it won’t work on the page, so don’t feel that you have to include them just to make a character sound authentic.

    Want help fine-tuning your writing and feedback on your use of profanities? Contact me about line and copyediting for your novel.

  • How-to

    Everything you need to know about semicolons

    If you’re confused about how to use semicolons correctly, I’ve got all the advice you need (and it’s not nearly as tricky as you might expect).

    In editing news just in (loosely speaking), research has revealed that semicolons are slowly exiting stage (page?) left. The controversial punctuation mark’s usage has declined more than 50 per cent in British books in the last two decades.

    I don’t have figures for Australian books but I would not be shocked if the semicolon’s decline was just as stark here.

    And honestly, I don’t blame writers for giving it a hard pass. It’s a confusing piece of punctuation – and entirely optional to boot. Why bother trying to figure out how to use semicolons correctly when you can opt for a dash?

    I’ve certainly been there.

    I don’t recall ever being taught how to use semicolons correctly in school and I avoided this punctuation mark like the plague when I became a staff writer in magazine land. But, as an editor I couldn’t ignore it, and now I’ve come to love it. Truly!

    These days I think it would be a shame to lose the semicolon. It’s quite an elegant bit of grammar and I promise you will feel like you’ve unlocked a new level of language when you understand how it works.

    Even better: it’s not nearly as tricky as it seems.

    What to know about semicolons

    A semicolon is the punctuation mark that stacks a full stop over a comma, like this: ;

    It has only two uses. (Or three, if you include its use as a winky face emoticon ; )

    The first is one you’re probably already familiar with: to clarify a complicated list. A semicolon separates items in a list when the items are phrases that are already punctuated by commas. For example:

    •  

    The second use for a semicolon is the one that tends to trip us up. It’s used to connect two independent clauses. The semicolon is a gentle nudge to the reader that there is a close relationship between them, stronger than a full stop would indicate. Like this: 

    • I love punctuation; learning to use the semicolon was life-changing for me.
    • She slept soundly through the storm; the strong winds and loud thunder didn’t bother her.

    The independent part of that definition is vital; the clauses must be able to stand on their own. If you use a comma instead of a semicolon, you have created a comma splice, which is a type of run-on sentence that grammar nerds love to hate.

    Here are some examples:

    • Incorrect (comma splice): He burst through the window, the shattered glass cut his hands.
    • Correct: He burst through the window; the shattered glass cut his hands.
    •  
    • Incorrect (comma splice): You don’t owe me an apology, I was out of line.
    • Correct: You don’t owe me an apology; I was out of line.

    The truth is you can get away with a comma splice here and there in informal writing, especially fiction (and especially if you’re doing it on purpose – know the rules to break the rules, etcetera).

    When not to use a semicolon

    A common misconception seems to be that the semicolon can be used in place of a comma whenever you want to indicate a dramatic pause. For instance, you might be tempted to write something like:

    • The river stretched before him, wide and silver; beckoning him across the expanse.

    While it might feel poetic, it’s technically incorrect because the text after the semicolon is a dependent clause. Rather than the semicolon in the example above, a comma will do nicely.

    Another common mistake is using a semicolon in place of a colon, especially when introducing a list. 

    • Incorrect: She planned to travel to several cities; Paris, France; Sydney, Australia; New York, USA; and Berlin, Germany.
    • Correct: She planned to travel to several cities: Paris, France; Sydney, Australia; New York, USA; and Berlin, Germany.

    And just to throw the cat among the punctuation pigeons, one notable exception to semicolon rule is when the clauses are short and similar in form. In this case, comma splice away. William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White, authors of The Elements of Style, will allow it. For example:

    • Here today, gone tomorrow.
    • It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

    You’ll likely recognise the latter example as a shortened version of the opening line of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, who was a famous semicolon fan. Go figure.

    More semicolon dos and don’ts

    Do use semicolons with conjunction adverbs such as however, moreover or consequently.

    • He wanted to go to bed; however, the party was raging on. 

    Some people will argue that you shouldn’t use a semicolon before coordinating conjunctions such as but, and, or, so, for, nor and yet. 

    It’s true that the semicolon replaces conjunctions when joining two independent clauses. But, it’s not an all-or-nothing scenario. When a conjunction is used after a semicolon, it indicates greater contrast or emphasis. For example:  

    • The professor argued that English literature students should always focus on the classics; yet contemporary fiction has its place in the academic world too.

    What about capitalisation? If the semicolon is joining two complete sentences, shouldn’t the sentence after the semicolon start with a capital letter? 

    No. The semicolon doesn’t enjoy the full powers of a full stop, so the second sentence doesn’t need to begin with a capital letter unless it’s a proper noun.

    Summing up

    Whenever you feel compelled to drop a semicolon, double and triple check that the words on either side are complete sentences.

    Ask yourself, can I use a full stop here instead? If you can, you’re on the right track.

    Honestly, learning how to use semicolons correctly takes a bit of time and patience, but it’s so rewarding once you’re friends.

    In one of my favourite books on punctuation, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, author Lynne Truss writes: ‘The semicolon has rightly been called “a compliment from the writer to the reader”.’

    I love this idea – it acknowledges the nuance of the semicolon, which gently asks the reader to notice the connection the author is drawing between ideas and to hear the subtle distinction in rhythm and tone.

    What a joy to be able to do so much with a single mark.

    Want help with your punctuation bugbears? Get in touch to talk about a copyedit for your work.

  • How-to, Writing

    How to write great chapter and scene openers

    Chapter and scene openers matter just as much as the closing lines. Here’s some tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    If you want to keep your readers hooked at the end of a chapter so they’re up all night reading your book, you know what to do: drop a clue, drop the mic, or drop a cliffhanger they can’t resist.

    But what about the next page? How do you harness that momentum and intrigue at the top of the next chapter or scene?

    Chapter and scene openers need to work just as hard to keep your readers invested, and when you put thought and care into them, they will lure your readers through your story.

    Here are a few tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    Consider its purpose

    Just as your novel has a beginning, middle and end, so should your scenes. They need to move your story forward, and to do that they need a purpose.

    When you’re writing or reviewing a scene, think about its overall purpose in the story. Is it setting up a conversation that will reveal an important clue? Perhaps it’s pushing a couple to a make-or-break point. Or it could be about putting a character under stress or moving them closer to their goal. Pinpointing what the scene needs to do can give you ideas about the most impactful place for it to begin.

    In Chapter 20 of Love, Just In by Natalie Murray, a scene in which the protagonist Josie confronts her health anxiety with a doctor for the first time opens with this line:

    • Doctor Ellison is running nearly an hour behind, leaving me plenty of time to read and reread the cancer awareness posters taped to the wall until my palms are slick and my mouth has dried to a desert.

    In this scene, the consult with the doctor is what moves the story forward, so Murray doesn’t spend too long building up Josie’s anxiety beforehand.

    Instead, she opens in the moment just before the appointment begins and shows us how Josie is feeling in one carefully crafted sentence. The next line shows her name being called, and we’re straight into the scene with the doctor.

    Cut mundane detail

    It’s easy to do because we live it, but chapter and scene openers that describe mundane activities (waking up and brushing teeth, washing dishes, having a polite chat) or an info dump (lots of backstory), or a routine journey can slow the pace and give your reader an excuse to tap out.

    The beauty of writing a book is that scene and chapter breaks can cut the chaff for you – there’s no need to show a character going from A to B or making small talk about the weather when you can open a scene or chapter with drama.

    Try cutting the stage directions and opening in medias res – the middle of the action – whether that’s a tense conversation or a chase down the street or a devastating reveal.

    Here’s an example from Chapter 24 of Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister (Murray’s POV), which opens with an irresistible line of dialogue:

    • “You’re angry with me,” Lily said.
    • She was standing in front of my golf cart, arms folded.

    We don’t see Murray make his way to the golf cart, start the engine and roll down the hill, nor do we see him clock Lily making her way across the lawn. We dive straight into their make-or-break conversation.

    Make us laugh

    Use your character’s inner voice to get us on side.

    What are they thinking in this moment? Starting with that thought, especially if it’s incongruous with the scenario they’re in, is like catnip for readers.

    Consider this from Chapter Seven of That Island Feeling by Karina May, in which POV character Jack is cleaning rooms at the local resort:

    • Humans are foul. Especially humans on holidays. It’s like they forget the basics of cleanliness. Coffee stains on sheets, crumbs on sheets – other things on sheets.

    Or this line from Wattle it Be by Emma Mugglestone, when Wyatt fronts up for dinner with the crush he can’t have, Billie (page 42).

    • It wasn’t like this was a real date.  

    One is written in first person, the other third, but both examples show us the character’s unique voice, pulling us in with their humour and wilful self-delusion.

    Set the scene

    Writing isn’t all dialogue and inner narrative. You also need to anchor the story in place. Setting the scene can be an effective way to open a chapter – just take care not to overdo it. A few lines of description can paint a picture, while a few pages can send the reader to sleep.

    This para from Chapter Five of Kit McBride Gets a Wife by Amy Barry works beautifully – it’s just enough rich detail to bring to life the charming tableau that’s about to be shattered by Junebug’s rough manners and scheming.

    • Willabelle was holding court in one of Rigby’s high-backed cane chairs. She was decked out in canary-yellow satin, with an enormous fluffy yellow feather curling from her pile of blond hair. She was glowing, the sun around which everything orbited. The porch was crammed with miners. Every seat was full, and the porch rail was hidden, as men lined it, elbow to elbow. All of them had their gazes trained on Willabelle.

    Bonus tip: Don’t overthink it

    Not every scene needs to shock and awe. You need some variety in your novel, and some slower-paced openers can allow readers time to breathe and absorb the story.

    But if you feel that your writing is falling flat, playing around with those chapter and scene openers and cutting away extraneous detail to highlight the purpose of the scene might just be the way to add some sparkle to your story.

    Want help refining your scene and chapter openers? Get in touch to chat about editing for your novel.

  • Editing, How-to

    How to punctuate dialogue in fiction

    Polishing your dialogue punctuation is an easy way to make your manuscript look professional and keep who’s speaking clear for your reader.

    Proper dialogue punctuation isn’t just about following the rules. It makes the reading experience seamless and enjoyable for your audience, allowing them to focus on the conversation and immerse in the scene you’ve created.

    There are two big problems with inconsistent or incorrect punctuation. The first is that it pulls your reader out of the story as they trip over confusing sentences or grammar faux pas. The second is that it immediately marks you as an amateur. And that’s the last thing you want to flag to potential readers, agents or publishers.

    So, here’s how to punctuate dialogue in fiction properly, from the basics to some next-level tips (and yes, these apply to non-fiction writers too). 

    Which quote marks to use?

    Choose from either single or double quote marks and stick with it.

    Books published in Australia and the UK tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles for quoting within the quote.

    • For example: ‘Hey, do you like that song “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’

    US books (and Australian newspapers and magazines, just to keep us on our toes) reverse this, using double quotes with nested singles: 

    • “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa’s new song, ‘Illusion’.”

    You can choose which you prefer; I promise it doesn’t matter. The only rule is to be consistent with your choice.

    Do I have to use quote marks?

    Nope! Some good alternatives might be to put speech in italics, or to use dashes before dialogue, with each speaker taking a new line, the way you might see it set out in a transcript or play. (This can be confusing if there are more than two speakers, however!) But honestly, I don’t recommend going without quote marks altogether. Readers are so familiar with quote marks they barely register them. But when they’re missing, they really notice it. It can trip up some readers as they struggle to differentiate between narrative prose and dialogue, and that can pull them out of the story, which is the last thing you want.

    For some authors it’s a stylistic choice – and that’s totally fine. Sarah Winman, Kate Grenville and Deborah Levy are among the modern authors who have chosen this approach. If you love that style (and you’re writing literary fiction), go for it!

    My advice, however, is to leave this controversial move to the literary greats and use quote marks for your dialogue, especially you’re writing commercial genre fiction. Don’t give your readers a reason to put your book down!

    How to punctuate dialogue with a speech tag

    OK, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

    Speech tags are phrases that report how a character is speaking, such as said/says, reply/replied, ask/asked. They’re so common that they’re often as ‘invisible’ to readers as quote marks.

    When a speech tag follows dialogue, use a comma before the closing quote mark. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ said Violet.
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes,” said Violet.

    Don’t place the comma outside the closing quote mark, like this:

    • Wrong: ‘Amber, I love your shoes’, said Violet.
    • Wrong: “Amber, I love your shoes”, said Violet.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, a comma before the closing quote mark is NOT needed. 

    Here are some examples with both single and double quote marks:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!,’ Violet said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.
    • Wrong: “Do you really like them?,” Amber replied.
    • Right: “Do you really like them?” Amber replied.

    And even though it goes against what you learned at primary school, don’t be tempted to use a capital letter for the word following a question mark or exclamation mark in dialogue. For example:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!’ She said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ she said.

    The exception: if you’re using a proper noun:

    • ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.

    What about if you want to put a speech tag before the speech? Use a comma after the speech tag and before the opening quote mark. Then finish the dialogue with a full stop inside the quote marks.

    • Violet said, ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Amber replied, ‘Thank you, I got them on sale.’

    How to punctuate dialogue without a speech tag

    You might not always want to use a speech tag. Once your characters are in the rhythm of a conversation, you don’t need to indicate who is speaking every time, because the convention of putting each speaker’s dialogue on a new line keeps it clear. In this case, simply finish the dialogue with a full stop (or other terminal punctuation like a question mark or exclamation mark) inside the quote marks. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes.”
    • Single quotes: ‘Thank you, I really like them too!’
    • Double quotes: “Thank you, I really like them too!”

    How to punctuate dialogue with action beats

    Action beats show how a character is moving or reacting during dialogue. They’re similar to speech tags in that they indicate who is speaking, but they add a little extra characterisation that allows the author to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’, so they’re a great device to use in fiction.

    To punctuate dialogue with an action beat instead of a speech tag, use a full stop before the closing quote mark instead of a comma. The action beat is in bold in the examples below. (Note: I’ll use single quotes for the rest of these examples – the punctuation is exactly the same when using double quote marks.)

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet crouched down for a closer look.
    • ‘Really? Thank you.’ Amber glowed with pleasure at the compliment.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, use that as your terminal punctuation instead of a full stop.

    • ‘Thanks, Violet!’ Amber blushed.

    Keep an eye out for action beats masquerading as speech tags. For instance, laugh, smile, frown, sigh, wink and yawn are actions, not speech. So, if you catch something like:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber winked.

    Change the comma to a full stop, as you would when using an action beat:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks.’ Amber winked.

    If you want to combine a speech tag with an action beat, use a comma to separate the speech tag from the action beat, like this:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet said, crouching down for a closer look.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber replied, twisting her ankle to show off the strappy heel.

    How to punctuate dialogue interruptions and trailing off

    To show someone’s voice trailing off, use an ellipsis inside the quote marks. No other terminal punctuation is needed. For bonus points, avoid telling the reader that the speaker’s voice has trailed off. The ellipsis does that work for you.

    • ‘Could I borrow them?’ Violet asked.
    • ‘I guess …’ Amber said.

    (Try to avoid writing: ‘I guess …’ Amber said, trailing off.)

    Here’s another example:

    • Wrong: ‘I wonder if …,’
    • Right: ‘I wonder if …’

    If you want to show speech that has been interrupted or broken off, use an em dash at the end of the interrupted sentence. No full stop or comma is needed after the dash, just your closing quote mark:

    • Right: ‘Wow, those shoes are—’ 
    • Wrong: ‘Wow, those shoes are—.’

    How to differentiate speakers

    Remember when I said above that you don’t always need to use a speech tag to tell a reader who is saying what? The conventional way to indicate different speakers in a conversation is to put each speaker’s dialogue on a new line. This is a tried-and-true format that makes dialogue easy to follow without too many overt cues.

    Even if the speaker isn’t speaking but simply reacting to something that the other character has said, put that action on a new line too. Otherwise you risk confusing your reader. For example, if you wrote:

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said. ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    The reader will likely be confused for a second, because with both speakers’ dialogue and Amber’s reaction on the one line, it’s hard to differentiate between who said what. Instead, place Amber’s response and reaction on a new line to avoid confusing readers even for an instant.

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said.
    • ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    How to punctuate dialogue that’s broken up with a speech tag or action beat

    Say you want to break up one character’s dialogue with a speech tag. This can be helpful to break up long stretches of dialogue and to enhance characterisation. Here’s how you’d do it if you were placing a speech tag between two complete sentences:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said. ‘Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone.’

    In this case, I don’t care what you think and Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone are separate sentences, so you simply punctuate the first sentence with a comma as you would any other dialogue. There’s no need to add a speech tag to the second sentence because it’s already clear who’s speaking, so a full stop before the closing quote mark is all that’s needed.

    If you’re inserting an action beat between two complete sentences, there’s no need for a comma at the end of the first sentence because, as shown above, it isn’t followed by a speech tag. So a full stop before the closing quote mark in both sentences is all that’s required. Take a look at this example:

    • ‘I didn’t want you to come.’ Joan crossed her arms. ‘I just want to be alone.’

    If your speech tag interrupts one sentence rather than two complete sentences, use a comma after the speech tag and a lower case letter in the next clause to indicate the sentence is continuing. Here are a couple of examples:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said, ‘because your opinion means nothing to me.’
    • ‘We went to the shops,’ she said quickly, ‘then the pool, then the library.’

    What about if you want to break up the sentence with an action beat rather than a speech tag? This can be a great way to add tension or emotion to a scene. In this case, use dashes outside the quote marks to separate the speech from the action. No commas are needed. Take a look at these examples:

    • ‘I told you’ – Amy jabbed a finger at his chest – ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • ‘What if he’s not guilty? What if he really is’ – Aaron swallowed roughly – ‘innocent?’

    If you’re using em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I told you’—Amy jabbed a finger at his chest—‘I’m not giving up.’

    Remember, if the action is related to another speaker, it needs to be treated carefully. Ideally you’d put it on a new line, otherwise it can look like the speech is coming from a different character to the one you intended. Consider this line of Amy’s from above, interrupted with an action from Aaron and punctuated as though it were a speech tag:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Aaron glanced at her, shocked, ‘I’m not giving up.’

    It reads as though Aaron is speaking, right? That’s because the commas before the quote marks signal to your practiced reader eye that a speech tag is coming. Using a speech tag or adding dashes and tweaking the action beat to include Amy would fix it:

    • Speech tag: ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Amy replied, and Aaron glanced at her, shocked. ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • Dashes: ‘I don’t care what you say’ – Amy narrowed her eyes as Aaron shook his head – ‘I’m not giving up.’

    If the action interrupting dialogue is related to a different character and is followed by their speech, place the action and speech on a new line. In this example, Aaron follows his glance with dialogue:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say!’ Amy replied.
    • Aaron glanced at her. ‘It’s dangerous, Amy. I think you should reconsider.’
    • ‘I’m not giving up.’

    Common dialogue punctuation mistakes

    Let’s rehash. Dialogue punctuation is super important because getting it right guides your reader and helps them to stay immersed in the story. There are lots of nuances to dialogue punctuation, but I’ve covered the most common ones fiction writers are likely to encounter here.

    The dialogue mistakes I regularly see in fiction and non-fiction manuscripts:

    • – Using quote marks inconsistently
    • – Placing commas or full stops outside the closing punctuation mark
    • – Punctuating action beats as speech tags.

    Getting a handle on these will give your manuscript a professional edge and mark you as a serious writer. And even better, when you know how to punctuate dialogue properly, you can focus on making that dialogue shine.

    If you have any more questions about how to punctuate dialogue in fiction, drop me a line! And if you’d like help wrangling your manuscript’s grammar, get in touch with me to chat about a line and copyedit for your project. I offer a free sample edit so you can see exactly how copyediting will enhance your storytelling and clarify your message.

  • How-to

    How to use dashes: a guide for authors

    Get a handle on how to use en and em dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing

    Welcome to the much-requested follow-up to my hyphen blog post! I’m here to walk you through how to use dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing, because I know you love them but you don’t always know if you need them.

    What are dashes?

    Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about hyphens (-) here. We covered that in this post. Dashes are similar but longer horizontal lines that have an entirely different role to play in your writing.

    Depending on your preference or your region, you may be more familiar with an en dash (–) or an em dash (—). The en dash is more often seen in British and Australian English texts, while the em dash is common in the land that loves everything bigger: America, of course!

    This is not a hard and fast rule: you can use whatever length dash in any location, as long as you’re consistent. Their names are a throwback to the early days of typesetting: an en dash is a line that is approximately the width of the letter N, while the em dash is about the width of the letter M.

    Spacing around dashes

    You might have noticed that dashes are often used with or without spaces around them. Often, an en dash is ‘spaced’. It looks like – this.

    Em dashes are often seen ‘closed’, like—this. But they can also be left ‘open’, like — this.

    How to type en dashes and em dashes

    If you use a Mac, it’s easy.

    • En dash: option + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: option + shift + hyphen [-]

    For Windows users, it’s a little more complicated.

    In Microsoft Word, you can type a hyphen [-] with spaces around it and it will automatically convert to a dash. For an em dash, type two hyphens without spaces around them and it will convert to a closed em dash.

    Or use these shortcuts:

    • En dash: ctrl + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: alt + ctrl + hyphen [-]

    Outside of Microsoft Office programs, use these shortcuts:

    • Em dash: alt + 0151
    • En dash: alt + 0150

    If your dream is a keyboard with an em or en dash key, you could map a key you don’t often use to type your preferred dash.

    Which dash is best?

    There’s no right or wrong here. It’s a style choice. In the UK and Australia, we tend to use spaced en dashes. US readers will probably be more familiar with closed em dashes. Consider using the style that your audience will be familiar with. The most important thing is to be consistent, so if you usually use en dashes, don’t just throw in a closed em dash when you feel particularly, er, dashing.

    There are a few caveats (of course. This is English we’re talking about). In some cases, an en or em dash is the correct option, regardless of your style for dashes. Let’s go through the uses for dashes.

    Dashes that separate a word, clause or phrase from the main clause

    This is, I think, the most common use of dashes and the most commonly confused. We use dashes (en or em) to add information, an explanation, a humorous aside, or to interject. I see writers become concerned that using dashes in this way is somehow incorrect, which I think stems from the fact that dashes are just one way of punctuating these kinds of sentences; you can also use parentheses and commas.

    Let’s take a look:

    • The man – a stranger – was tall and imposing.

    You could also write this sentence as:

    • The man, a stranger, was tall and imposing.
    • The man (a stranger) was tall and imposing.

    None of these are wrong, but consider the impact of each punctuation choice. For me, the dashes give the sentence greater tension than the quieter comma or the gentle aside of the parentheses. The emphasis on the stranger is stark, pointing out that the reader should take special note of this information. The parentheses and the commas don’t give the same sense of foreboding or danger. So if you’re debating whether to use a dash or alternative punctuation, try writing them out and seeing if the tone of the sentence changes. Sometimes you might not want the drama of the dashes!

    Dashes can also be used to create a sense of humour or sarcasm. Think of them like a comedic beat. For example:

    • The kids were helping in the kitchen – well, that’s how they put it.
    • Trump said the trial was ‘very terrible’ – it was certainly an ordeal for our reporters.

    You can also use a dash instead of a colon. For instance:

    • At last, the man told them his name: Michael.
    • At last, the man told them his name – Michael.

    Or you might be tossing up between a dash and a semicolon. For example:

    • She knew all about the new guy – everyone did.
    • She knew all about the new guy; everyone did.

    And remember, you can use closed em dashes if that’s your style:

    • The man—a stranger—was imposing.
    • At last, the man told them his name—Michael.
    • She knew all about the new guy—everyone did.

    As with so much in writing, whether to use a dash or an alternative punctuation mark is up to you and your unique style. You might feel that a colon is too formal for your project, or that parentheses don’t belong in dialogue. These are valid arguments, and if you feel strongly about it, always communicate that with your editor so they know your preferences.

    Dashes in dialogue

    Another really important use of dashes in fiction (and non-fiction, especially narrative non-fiction) is to set off narrative description when it interrupts dialogue.

    You probably already know all about using action beats in dialogue (if not, stay tuned for a blog post soon). When these fall between full sentences, it looks like this (the action beat is in bold):

    • ‘I did the job, just like you asked.’ Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg. ‘I want my money.’

    But when the action beat interrupts a sentence, you can use dashes to show action happening at the same time as the speech. Take a look at this:

    • ‘I did the job’ – Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg – ‘and now I want my money.’

    If you’re using closed em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I did the job’—Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg—‘and now I want my money.’

    We also use dashes to indicate when dialogue is interrupted. Usually (not always!), we use em dashes for this, regardless of whether the overall style is for en dashes or not. Take a look at this:

    • ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth—’
    • ‘I told you, I want my money!’

    While a closed em dash is the simplest way to indicate broken-off speech, some style guides will differentiate between a spaced em dash after a complete word to indicate a broken-off sentence, and a closed-up em dash to indicate a broken-off word:

    • To indicate an interrupted sentence: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth —’
    • To indicate an interrupted word: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t wor—’

    Other style guides might use spaced en dashes instead of em dashes for interruptions. Take a look at this conversation between Taylor and Andie in That Island Feeling by Karina May, published by Pan Macmillan.

    • ‘I won’t hear another word about it! We’re taking you away,’ I announce.
    • ‘But I don’t –’
    • ‘I know the perfect place.’

    It’s worth noting that no other punctuation is needed after the dash before the closing quotation mark. For example, please don’t ever write: ‘But I don’t —,’ or ‘But I don’t—.’

    What about the sentence following the interruption – shouldn’t that begin with a dash, you might ask? I see this a lot, but the only case for it is when the sentence is interrupted and a different character or the same character finishes the same sentence. Take a look at this example from Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister, published by Simon & Schuster, in which Lily and Murray are discussing their first job on a reality TV show:

    •  ‘It’s a long game,’ I said. ‘First, we learn the rules. And then—’
    • ‘—we seize the means of production?’

    Here, Murray is finishing the sentence for Lily, so the opening dash shows that it’s the one sentence. Similarly, you might have one character’s sentence interrupted by action and dialogue, like this:

    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘—I’m going to marry him, dammit!’ I yelled.
    If the character had responded to Mum’s question about the pizza (therefore beginning a new sentence), it would be punctuated like this: 
     
    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘No, it absolutely cannot!’ I yelled.

    Dashes that indicate halting speech

    In my guide to hyphens I showed how to use hyphens to indicate stuttered speech. Similarly you can use dashes to show speech that is faltering or hesitant, with dashes between each full word. This is great way to show a character who is flustered, rushed or nervous. Here’s an example with both em dashes and en dashes.

    • Em dashes: ‘I don’t—I mean, I can’t—I just—I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’
    • En dashes: ‘I don’t – I mean, I can’t – I just – I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’

    If you wanted to show the sentence trailing off, you could use an ellipsis alongside your dashes:

    • ‘I just – I don’t know … I’m not sure, Mandy.’

    Dashes between words of equal importance

    While hyphens are used to join two or more words to create a single unit, an en dash can be used in a similar way to show an equal relationship between the words. For example:

    • win–win
    • work–life balance
    • on–off relationship
    • doctor–patient confidentiality
    This is always the job of an en dash, even if your style is to use em dashes as dashes generally.

    Dashes in a range

    Again, regardless of your style, use en dashes only to replace ‘to’ and ‘from’ in a range:

    • Monday–Friday
    • 9.30am–5pm
    • 1980–1990

    Dashes to indicate omitted text

    Want to use swear words without swearing? Use em dashes (and only em dashes). Want to mention a person without actually revealing the name? Use em dashes. A closed em dash indicates that part of the word is missing, while a spaced em dash indicates the entire word has been omitted.

    • ‘You are a real piece of s—, you are,’ he said.
    • The antique belongs to Mrs — of Highgate.

    Author Meg Mason uses this technique to devastating effect in her book Sorrow and Bliss published by Fourth Estate. Two em dashes (indicating two missing words) are used throughout to conceal the name of Martha’s mental illness, forcing the reader to set aside unconscious biases and focus on the character’s experience. Here’s an example of how it was used:

    • All of it had been chosen by a woman who as far as she knew did not have — —, a woman who just thought she wasn’t good at being a person.

    Common mistakes with dashes

    The biggest dash clangers I see as an editor?

    • * Not using en or em dashes consistently
    • * Adding a comma or full stop after a dash used to indicate an interrupted sentence

    Most of the time, though, I think authors have a good instinct for using them to indicate an aside or to separate a clause or phrase within a sentence, so don’t stress about your dashes – follow your heart!

    All you have to decide now is which dash you prefer – are you an en or an em dash author?

    If you have more questions about how to use dashes in your writing, drop me a line. I can also help you manage your punctuation mishaps with a line and copyedit for your work in progress. Get in touch for a free sample edit.