How-to

  • How-to, Writing

    How to write great chapter and scene openers

    Chapter and scene openers matter just as much as the closing lines. Here’s some tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    If you want to keep your readers hooked at the end of a chapter so they’re up all night reading your book, you know what to do: drop a clue, drop the mic, or drop a cliffhanger they can’t resist.

    But what about the next page? How do you harness that momentum and intrigue at the top of the next chapter or scene?

    Chapter and scene openers need to work just as hard to keep your readers invested, and when you put thought and care into them, they will lure your readers through your story.

    Here are a few tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    Consider its purpose

    Just as your novel has a beginning, middle and end, so should your scenes. They need to move your story forward, and to do that they need a purpose.

    When you’re writing or reviewing a scene, think about its overall purpose in the story. Is it setting up a conversation that will reveal an important clue? Perhaps it’s pushing a couple to a make-or-break point. Or it could be about putting a character under stress or moving them closer to their goal. Pinpointing what the scene needs to do can give you ideas about the most impactful place for it to begin.

    In Chapter 20 of Love, Just In by Natalie Murray, a scene in which the protagonist Josie confronts her health anxiety with a doctor for the first time opens with this line:

    • Doctor Ellison is running nearly an hour behind, leaving me plenty of time to read and reread the cancer awareness posters taped to the wall until my palms are slick and my mouth has dried to a desert.

    In this scene, the consult with the doctor is what moves the story forward, so Murray doesn’t spend too long building up Josie’s anxiety beforehand.

    Instead, she opens in the moment just before the appointment begins and shows us how Josie is feeling in one carefully crafted sentence. The next line shows her name being called, and we’re straight into the scene with the doctor.

    Cut mundane detail

    It’s easy to do because we live it, but chapter and scene openers that describe mundane activities (waking up and brushing teeth, washing dishes, having a polite chat) or an info dump (lots of backstory), or a routine journey can slow the pace and give your reader an excuse to tap out.

    The beauty of writing a book is that scene and chapter breaks can cut the chaff for you – there’s no need to show a character going from A to B or making small talk about the weather when you can open a scene or chapter with drama.

    Try cutting the stage directions and opening in medias res – the middle of the action – whether that’s a tense conversation or a chase down the street or a devastating reveal.

    Here’s an example from Chapter 24 of Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister (Murray’s POV), which opens with an irresistible line of dialogue:

    • “You’re angry with me,” Lily said.
    • She was standing in front of my golf cart, arms folded.

    We don’t see Murray make his way to the golf cart, start the engine and roll down the hill, nor do we see him clock Lily making her way across the lawn. We dive straight into their make-or-break conversation.

    Make us laugh

    Use your character’s inner voice to get us on side.

    What are they thinking in this moment? Starting with that thought, especially if it’s incongruous with the scenario they’re in, is like catnip for readers.

    Consider this from Chapter Seven of That Island Feeling by Karina May, in which POV character Jack is cleaning rooms at the local resort:

    • Humans are foul. Especially humans on holidays. It’s like they forget the basics of cleanliness. Coffee stains on sheets, crumbs on sheets – other things on sheets.

    Or this line from Wattle it Be by Emma Mugglestone, when Wyatt fronts up for dinner with the crush he can’t have, Billie (page 42).

    • It wasn’t like this was a real date.  

    One is written in first person, the other third, but both examples show us the character’s unique voice, pulling us in with their humour and wilful self-delusion.

    Set the scene

    Writing isn’t all dialogue and inner narrative. You also need to anchor the story in place. Setting the scene can be an effective way to open a chapter – just take care not to overdo it. A few lines of description can paint a picture, while a few pages can send the reader to sleep.

    This para from Chapter Five of Kit McBride Gets a Wife by Amy Barry works beautifully – it’s just enough rich detail to bring to life the charming tableau that’s about to be shattered by Junebug’s rough manners and scheming.

    • Willabelle was holding court in one of Rigby’s high-backed cane chairs. She was decked out in canary-yellow satin, with an enormous fluffy yellow feather curling from her pile of blond hair. She was glowing, the sun around which everything orbited. The porch was crammed with miners. Every seat was full, and the porch rail was hidden, as men lined it, elbow to elbow. All of them had their gazes trained on Willabelle.

    Bonus tip: Don’t overthink it

    Not every scene needs to shock and awe. You need some variety in your novel, and some slower-paced openers can allow readers time to breathe and absorb the story.

    But if you feel that your writing is falling flat, playing around with those chapter and scene openers and cutting away extraneous detail to highlight the purpose of the scene might just be the way to add some sparkle to your story.

    Want help refining your scene and chapter openers? Get in touch to chat about editing for your novel.

  • Editing, How-to

    How to punctuate dialogue in fiction

    Polishing your dialogue punctuation is an easy way to make your manuscript look professional and keep who’s speaking clear for your reader.

    Proper dialogue punctuation isn’t just about following the rules. It makes the reading experience seamless and enjoyable for your audience, allowing them to focus on the conversation and immerse in the scene you’ve created.

    There are two big problems with inconsistent or incorrect punctuation. The first is that it pulls your reader out of the story as they trip over confusing sentences or grammar faux pas. The second is that it immediately marks you as an amateur. And that’s the last thing you want to flag to potential readers, agents or publishers.

    So, here’s how to punctuate dialogue in fiction properly, from the basics to some next-level tips (and yes, these apply to non-fiction writers too). 

    Which quote marks to use?

    Choose from either single or double quote marks and stick with it.

    Books published in Australia and the UK tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles for quoting within the quote.

    • For example: ‘Hey, do you like that song “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’

    US books (and Australian newspapers and magazines, just to keep us on our toes) reverse this, using double quotes with nested singles: 

    • “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa’s new song, ‘Illusion’.”

    You can choose which you prefer; I promise it doesn’t matter. The only rule is to be consistent with your choice.

    Do I have to use quote marks?

    Nope! Some good alternatives might be to put speech in italics, or to use dashes before dialogue, with each speaker taking a new line, the way you might see it set out in a transcript or play. (This can be confusing if there are more than two speakers, however!) But honestly, I don’t recommend going without quote marks altogether. Readers are so familiar with quote marks they barely register them. But when they’re missing, they really notice it. It can trip up some readers as they struggle to differentiate between narrative prose and dialogue, and that can pull them out of the story, which is the last thing you want.

    For some authors it’s a stylistic choice – and that’s totally fine. Sarah Winman, Kate Grenville and Deborah Levy are among the modern authors who have chosen this approach. If you love that style (and you’re writing literary fiction), go for it!

    My advice, however, is to leave this controversial move to the literary greats and use quote marks for your dialogue, especially you’re writing commercial genre fiction. Don’t give your readers a reason to put your book down!

    How to punctuate dialogue with a speech tag

    OK, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

    Speech tags are phrases that report how a character is speaking, such as said/says, reply/replied, ask/asked. They’re so common that they’re often as ‘invisible’ to readers as quote marks.

    When a speech tag follows dialogue, use a comma before the closing quote mark. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ said Violet.
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes,” said Violet.

    Don’t place the comma outside the closing quote mark, like this:

    • Wrong: ‘Amber, I love your shoes’, said Violet.
    • Wrong: “Amber, I love your shoes”, said Violet.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, a comma before the closing quote mark is NOT needed. 

    Here are some examples with both single and double quote marks:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!,’ Violet said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.
    • Wrong: “Do you really like them?,” Amber replied.
    • Right: “Do you really like them?” Amber replied.

    And even though it goes against what you learned at primary school, don’t be tempted to use a capital letter for the word following a question mark or exclamation mark in dialogue. For example:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!’ She said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ she said.

    The exception: if you’re using a proper noun:

    • ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.

    What about if you want to put a speech tag before the speech? Use a comma after the speech tag and before the opening quote mark. Then finish the dialogue with a full stop inside the quote marks.

    • Violet said, ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Amber replied, ‘Thank you, I got them on sale.’

    How to punctuate dialogue without a speech tag

    You might not always want to use a speech tag. Once your characters are in the rhythm of a conversation, you don’t need to indicate who is speaking every time, because the convention of putting each speaker’s dialogue on a new line keeps it clear. In this case, simply finish the dialogue with a full stop (or other terminal punctuation like a question mark or exclamation mark) inside the quote marks. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes.”
    • Single quotes: ‘Thank you, I really like them too!’
    • Double quotes: “Thank you, I really like them too!”

    How to punctuate dialogue with action beats

    Action beats show how a character is moving or reacting during dialogue. They’re similar to speech tags in that they indicate who is speaking, but they add a little extra characterisation that allows the author to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’, so they’re a great device to use in fiction.

    To punctuate dialogue with an action beat instead of a speech tag, use a full stop before the closing quote mark instead of a comma. The action beat is in bold in the examples below. (Note: I’ll use single quotes for the rest of these examples – the punctuation is exactly the same when using double quote marks.)

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet crouched down for a closer look.
    • ‘Really? Thank you.’ Amber glowed with pleasure at the compliment.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, use that as your terminal punctuation instead of a full stop.

    • ‘Thanks, Violet!’ Amber blushed.

    Keep an eye out for action beats masquerading as speech tags. For instance, laugh, smile, frown, sigh, wink and yawn are actions, not speech. So, if you catch something like:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber winked.

    Change the comma to a full stop, as you would when using an action beat:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks.’ Amber winked.

    If you want to combine a speech tag with an action beat, use a comma to separate the speech tag from the action beat, like this:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet said, crouching down for a closer look.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber replied, twisting her ankle to show off the strappy heel.

    How to punctuate dialogue interruptions and trailing off

    To show someone’s voice trailing off, use an ellipsis inside the quote marks. No other terminal punctuation is needed. For bonus points, avoid telling the reader that the speaker’s voice has trailed off. The ellipsis does that work for you.

    • ‘Could I borrow them?’ Violet asked.
    • ‘I guess …’ Amber said.

    (Try to avoid writing: ‘I guess …’ Amber said, trailing off.)

    Here’s another example:

    • Wrong: ‘I wonder if …,’
    • Right: ‘I wonder if …’

    If you want to show speech that has been interrupted or broken off, use an em dash at the end of the interrupted sentence. No full stop or comma is needed after the dash, just your closing quote mark:

    • Right: ‘Wow, those shoes are—’ 
    • Wrong: ‘Wow, those shoes are—.’

    How to differentiate speakers

    Remember when I said above that you don’t always need to use a speech tag to tell a reader who is saying what? The conventional way to indicate different speakers in a conversation is to put each speaker’s dialogue on a new line. This is a tried-and-true format that makes dialogue easy to follow without too many overt cues.

    Even if the speaker isn’t speaking but simply reacting to something that the other character has said, put that action on a new line too. Otherwise you risk confusing your reader. For example, if you wrote:

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said. ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    The reader will likely be confused for a second, because with both speakers’ dialogue and Amber’s reaction on the one line, it’s hard to differentiate between who said what. Instead, place Amber’s response and reaction on a new line to avoid confusing readers even for an instant.

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said.
    • ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    How to punctuate dialogue that’s broken up with a speech tag or action beat

    Say you want to break up one character’s dialogue with a speech tag. This can be helpful to break up long stretches of dialogue and to enhance characterisation. Here’s how you’d do it if you were placing a speech tag between two complete sentences:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said. ‘Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone.’

    In this case, I don’t care what you think and Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone are separate sentences, so you simply punctuate the first sentence with a comma as you would any other dialogue. There’s no need to add a speech tag to the second sentence because it’s already clear who’s speaking, so a full stop before the closing quote mark is all that’s needed.

    If you’re inserting an action beat between two complete sentences, there’s no need for a comma at the end of the first sentence because, as shown above, it isn’t followed by a speech tag. So a full stop before the closing quote mark in both sentences is all that’s required. Take a look at this example:

    • ‘I didn’t want you to come.’ Joan crossed her arms. ‘I just want to be alone.’

    If your speech tag interrupts one sentence rather than two complete sentences, use a comma after the speech tag and a lower case letter in the next clause to indicate the sentence is continuing. Here are a couple of examples:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said, ‘because your opinion means nothing to me.’
    • ‘We went to the shops,’ she said quickly, ‘then the pool, then the library.’

    What about if you want to break up the sentence with an action beat rather than a speech tag? This can be a great way to add tension or emotion to a scene. In this case, use dashes outside the quote marks to separate the speech from the action. No commas are needed. Take a look at these examples:

    • ‘I told you’ – Amy jabbed a finger at his chest – ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • ‘What if he’s not guilty? What if he really is’ – Aaron swallowed roughly – ‘innocent?’

    If you’re using em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I told you’—Amy jabbed a finger at his chest—‘I’m not giving up.’

    Remember, if the action is related to another speaker, it needs to be treated carefully. Ideally you’d put it on a new line, otherwise it can look like the speech is coming from a different character to the one you intended. Consider this line of Amy’s from above, interrupted with an action from Aaron and punctuated as though it were a speech tag:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Aaron glanced at her, shocked, ‘I’m not giving up.’

    It reads as though Aaron is speaking, right? That’s because the commas before the quote marks signal to your practiced reader eye that a speech tag is coming. Using a speech tag or adding dashes and tweaking the action beat to include Amy would fix it:

    • Speech tag: ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Amy replied, and Aaron glanced at her, shocked. ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • Dashes: ‘I don’t care what you say’ – Amy narrowed her eyes as Aaron shook his head – ‘I’m not giving up.’

    If the action interrupting dialogue is related to a different character and is followed by their speech, place the action and speech on a new line. In this example, Aaron follows his glance with dialogue:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say!’ Amy replied.
    • Aaron glanced at her. ‘It’s dangerous, Amy. I think you should reconsider.’
    • ‘I’m not giving up.’

    Common dialogue punctuation mistakes

    Let’s rehash. Dialogue punctuation is super important because getting it right guides your reader and helps them to stay immersed in the story. There are lots of nuances to dialogue punctuation, but I’ve covered the most common ones fiction writers are likely to encounter here.

    The dialogue mistakes I regularly see in fiction and non-fiction manuscripts:

    • – Using quote marks inconsistently
    • – Placing commas or full stops outside the closing punctuation mark
    • – Punctuating action beats as speech tags.

    Getting a handle on these will give your manuscript a professional edge and mark you as a serious writer. And even better, when you know how to punctuate dialogue properly, you can focus on making that dialogue shine.

    If you have any more questions about how to punctuate dialogue in fiction, drop me a line! And if you’d like help wrangling your manuscript’s grammar, get in touch with me to chat about a line and copyedit for your project. I offer a free sample edit so you can see exactly how copyediting will enhance your storytelling and clarify your message.

  • How-to

    How to use dashes: a guide for authors

    Get a handle on how to use en and em dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing

    Welcome to the much-requested follow-up to my hyphen blog post! I’m here to walk you through how to use dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing, because I know you love them but you don’t always know if you need them.

    What are dashes?

    Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about hyphens (-) here. We covered that in this post. Dashes are similar but longer horizontal lines that have an entirely different role to play in your writing.

    Depending on your preference or your region, you may be more familiar with an en dash (–) or an em dash (—). The en dash is more often seen in British and Australian English texts, while the em dash is common in the land that loves everything bigger: America, of course!

    This is not a hard and fast rule: you can use whatever length dash in any location, as long as you’re consistent. Their names are a throwback to the early days of typesetting: an en dash is a line that is approximately the width of the letter N, while the em dash is about the width of the letter M.

    Spacing around dashes

    You might have noticed that dashes are often used with or without spaces around them. Often, an en dash is ‘spaced’. It looks like – this.

    Em dashes are often seen ‘closed’, like—this. But they can also be left ‘open’, like — this.

    How to type en dashes and em dashes

    If you use a Mac, it’s easy.

    • En dash: option + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: option + shift + hyphen [-]

    For Windows users, it’s a little more complicated.

    In Microsoft Word, you can type a hyphen [-] with spaces around it and it will automatically convert to a dash. For an em dash, type two hyphens without spaces around them and it will convert to a closed em dash.

    Or use these shortcuts:

    • En dash: ctrl + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: alt + ctrl + hyphen [-]

    Outside of Microsoft Office programs, use these shortcuts:

    • Em dash: alt + 0151
    • En dash: alt + 0150

    If your dream is a keyboard with an em or en dash key, you could map a key you don’t often use to type your preferred dash.

    Which dash is best?

    There’s no right or wrong here. It’s a style choice. In the UK and Australia, we tend to use spaced en dashes. US readers will probably be more familiar with closed em dashes. Consider using the style that your audience will be familiar with. The most important thing is to be consistent, so if you usually use en dashes, don’t just throw in a closed em dash when you feel particularly, er, dashing.

    There are a few caveats (of course. This is English we’re talking about). In some cases, an en or em dash is the correct option, regardless of your style for dashes. Let’s go through the uses for dashes.

    Dashes that separate a word, clause or phrase from the main clause

    This is, I think, the most common use of dashes and the most commonly confused. We use dashes (en or em) to add information, an explanation, a humorous aside, or to interject. I see writers become concerned that using dashes in this way is somehow incorrect, which I think stems from the fact that dashes are just one way of punctuating these kinds of sentences; you can also use parentheses and commas.

    Let’s take a look:

    • The man – a stranger – was tall and imposing.

    You could also write this sentence as:

    • The man, a stranger, was tall and imposing.
    • The man (a stranger) was tall and imposing.

    None of these are wrong, but consider the impact of each punctuation choice. For me, the dashes give the sentence greater tension than the quieter comma or the gentle aside of the parentheses. The emphasis on the stranger is stark, pointing out that the reader should take special note of this information. The parentheses and the commas don’t give the same sense of foreboding or danger. So if you’re debating whether to use a dash or alternative punctuation, try writing them out and seeing if the tone of the sentence changes. Sometimes you might not want the drama of the dashes!

    Dashes can also be used to create a sense of humour or sarcasm. Think of them like a comedic beat. For example:

    • The kids were helping in the kitchen – well, that’s how they put it.
    • Trump said the trial was ‘very terrible’ – it was certainly an ordeal for our reporters.

    You can also use a dash instead of a colon. For instance:

    • At last, the man told them his name: Michael.
    • At last, the man told them his name – Michael.

    Or you might be tossing up between a dash and a semicolon. For example:

    • She knew all about the new guy – everyone did.
    • She knew all about the new guy; everyone did.

    And remember, you can use closed em dashes if that’s your style:

    • The man—a stranger—was imposing.
    • At last, the man told them his name—Michael.
    • She knew all about the new guy—everyone did.

    As with so much in writing, whether to use a dash or an alternative punctuation mark is up to you and your unique style. You might feel that a colon is too formal for your project, or that parentheses don’t belong in dialogue. These are valid arguments, and if you feel strongly about it, always communicate that with your editor so they know your preferences.

    Dashes in dialogue

    Another really important use of dashes in fiction (and non-fiction, especially narrative non-fiction) is to set off narrative description when it interrupts dialogue.

    You probably already know all about using action beats in dialogue (if not, stay tuned for a blog post soon). When these fall between full sentences, it looks like this (the action beat is in bold):

    • ‘I did the job, just like you asked.’ Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg. ‘I want my money.’

    But when the action beat interrupts a sentence, you can use dashes to show action happening at the same time as the speech. Take a look at this:

    • ‘I did the job’ – Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg – ‘and now I want my money.’

    If you’re using closed em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I did the job’—Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg—‘and now I want my money.’

    We also use dashes to indicate when dialogue is interrupted. Usually (not always!), we use em dashes for this, regardless of whether the overall style is for en dashes or not. Take a look at this:

    • ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth—’
    • ‘I told you, I want my money!’

    While a closed em dash is the simplest way to indicate broken-off speech, some style guides will differentiate between a spaced em dash after a complete word to indicate a broken-off sentence, and a closed-up em dash to indicate a broken-off word:

    • To indicate an interrupted sentence: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth —’
    • To indicate an interrupted word: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t wor—’

    Other style guides might use spaced en dashes instead of em dashes for interruptions. Take a look at this conversation between Taylor and Andie in That Island Feeling by Karina May, published by Pan Macmillan.

    • ‘I won’t hear another word about it! We’re taking you away,’ I announce.
    • ‘But I don’t –’
    • ‘I know the perfect place.’

    It’s worth noting that no other punctuation is needed after the dash before the closing quotation mark. For example, please don’t ever write: ‘But I don’t —,’ or ‘But I don’t—.’

    What about the sentence following the interruption – shouldn’t that begin with a dash, you might ask? I see this a lot, but the only case for it is when the sentence is interrupted and a different character or the same character finishes the same sentence. Take a look at this example from Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister, published by Simon & Schuster, in which Lily and Murray are discussing their first job on a reality TV show:

    •  ‘It’s a long game,’ I said. ‘First, we learn the rules. And then—’
    • ‘—we seize the means of production?’

    Here, Murray is finishing the sentence for Lily, so the opening dash shows that it’s the one sentence. Similarly, you might have one character’s sentence interrupted by action and dialogue, like this:

    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘—I’m going to marry him, dammit!’ I yelled.
    If the character had responded to Mum’s question about the pizza (therefore beginning a new sentence), it would be punctuated like this: 
     
    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘No, it absolutely cannot!’ I yelled.

    Dashes that indicate halting speech

    In my guide to hyphens I showed how to use hyphens to indicate stuttered speech. Similarly you can use dashes to show speech that is faltering or hesitant, with dashes between each full word. This is great way to show a character who is flustered, rushed or nervous. Here’s an example with both em dashes and en dashes.

    • Em dashes: ‘I don’t—I mean, I can’t—I just—I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’
    • En dashes: ‘I don’t – I mean, I can’t – I just – I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’

    If you wanted to show the sentence trailing off, you could use an ellipsis alongside your dashes:

    • ‘I just – I don’t know … I’m not sure, Mandy.’

    Dashes between words of equal importance

    While hyphens are used to join two or more words to create a single unit, an en dash can be used in a similar way to show an equal relationship between the words. For example:

    • win–win
    • work–life balance
    • on–off relationship
    • doctor–patient confidentiality
    This is always the job of an en dash, even if your style is to use em dashes as dashes generally.

    Dashes in a range

    Again, regardless of your style, use en dashes only to replace ‘to’ and ‘from’ in a range:

    • Monday–Friday
    • 9.30am–5pm
    • 1980–1990

    Dashes to indicate omitted text

    Want to use swear words without swearing? Use em dashes (and only em dashes). Want to mention a person without actually revealing the name? Use em dashes. A closed em dash indicates that part of the word is missing, while a spaced em dash indicates the entire word has been omitted.

    • ‘You are a real piece of s—, you are,’ he said.
    • The antique belongs to Mrs — of Highgate.

    Author Meg Mason uses this technique to devastating effect in her book Sorrow and Bliss published by Fourth Estate. Two em dashes (indicating two missing words) are used throughout to conceal the name of Martha’s mental illness, forcing the reader to set aside unconscious biases and focus on the character’s experience. Here’s an example of how it was used:

    • All of it had been chosen by a woman who as far as she knew did not have — —, a woman who just thought she wasn’t good at being a person.

    Common mistakes with dashes

    The biggest dash clangers I see as an editor?

    • * Not using en or em dashes consistently
    • * Adding a comma or full stop after a dash used to indicate an interrupted sentence

    Most of the time, though, I think authors have a good instinct for using them to indicate an aside or to separate a clause or phrase within a sentence, so don’t stress about your dashes – follow your heart!

    All you have to decide now is which dash you prefer – are you an en or an em dash author?

    If you have more questions about how to use dashes in your writing, drop me a line. I can also help you manage your punctuation mishaps with a line and copyedit for your work in progress. Get in touch for a free sample edit. 

  • How-to

    How to use hyphens correctly

    Confused about how to use hyphens in your writing? Here’s my handy guide to hyphens, with plenty of tips and examples to help you out.

    Ahh, hyphens. How can one little mark cause so much confusion? If you’re a writer you’ve no doubt spent some valuable time mulling over whether you need a hyphen in your sentence/title/character’s name/chapter numbers. Or perhaps you boldly throw them in whenever it feels right – you follow your heart when it comes to that little dash and hope for the best.

    Like most forms of punctuation, hyphens were not conceived to confuse writers, but to clarify text. They’re super helpful, and when you know how they work, you’ll be grateful they’re part of your writing toolbox.

    1. What is a hyphen?

    To be clear, I’m talking about the punctuation mark that’s a short horizontal line: –

    You might call this a dash, but a hyphen is not technically a dash! Dashes are longer horizontal lines known as an en dash (–) or an em dash (—) and they serve different functions. We’ll talk about them in another post.

    What are hyphens used for?

    Let’s start with an overview of what hyphens do. You might be surprised to find that they have quite a diverse skill set.

    Hyphens are used to:

    • – form compound words
    • – form compound adjectives that modify nouns
    • – add prefixes to words (and suffixes)
    • – connect names
    • – connect numbers
    • – indicate stuttering or spelled-out words

    So, yeah. It’s a lot.

    Hyphens in compound words

    Did you know that words like tomorrow, teenager and notebook were once hyphenated? Yep, they were really spelled like this:

    • to-morrow
    • teen-ager
    • note-book

    Weird, right? Over time, they’ve evolved to become one word, no hyphen necessary.

    But when we’re still getting used to the idea of two or more words becoming one, we often use a hyphen (or hyphens) to form a single unit. For example:

    • six-pack
    • brother-in-law
    • a two-year-old
    • double-check

    Not all dictionaries agree on the state of play for hyphens in compound words, so it’s always best to check your relevant dictionary or style guide. For instance, the Macquarie Dictionary prefers wellbeing as one word, but the Merriam-Webster Dictionary lists it with a hyphen: well-being. And to make matters more confusing, some compound words are left permanently ‘open’ – no hyphen. Think real estate, living room, washing machine and iced tea.

    Using hyphens to create compound adjectives that modify nouns

    This is my favourite use of the hyphen – connecting two or more words that modify a noun.

    The main reason we use hyphens in this way is to avoid ambiguity. As an editor, I’m always striving to make writing clear so the reader can absorb its meaning without stopping to reread the sentence. Great writing is kind of invisible – you’re not thinking what does that mean? as you read, you’re just taking it in. Even a moment’s confusion can disrupt a reader and pull them out of a story, and that’s why punctuation marks like the hyphen are a writer’s best friend. It’s a tiny bit of punctuation doing a big job.

    For instance, if you wrote:

    • He demanded that they provide more experienced staff next time.

    And you meant that he was demanding different staff who had more experience than the noobs who have just filled the role, rather than an extra number of staff with the same level of experience, you would use a hyphen to make that meaning instantly clear:

    • He demanded that they provide more-experienced staff next time.

    The hyphen shows that more and experienced are working together to modify the word staff.

    Or perhaps your character wanted to convey how many people were at an event in a casual way. You could write:

    • ‘Oh, I’d say there were about thirty-odd people there.’

    If you left out the hyphen – thirty odd people – your character would be describing the people who attended the event as odd, rather than giving a rough sense of how many showed up.

    Regardless of ambiguity and absurdity, we still hyphenate compound adjectives before a noun. Here are some more examples:

    • We went to the five-star hotel
    • She had golden-brown hair
    • He is a seventeen-year-old boy
    • The adults-only pool
    • An impossible-to-find address

    Note that when the sentence construction is flipped so that the modifying words come after the noun, they don’t require hyphens:

    • The hotel had five stars
    • Her hair was golden brown
    • The boy is seventeen years old
    • The pool is for adults only
    • The address was impossible to find

    Hyphens with adverbs ending in -ly

    Before you get excited and start adding hyphens to compound modifiers everywhere, a word of caution: you don’t need to use a hyphen between adverbs ending in -ly and the word they are modifying. For example:

    • Wrong: A beautifully-designed home
    • Right: A beautifully designed home
    • Wrong: The gently-loved toy
    • Right: The gently loved toy
    • Wrong: A happily-married couple
    • Right: A happily married couple

    This is because adverbs used in this way are pretty much impossible to misinterpret, so adding a hyphen here is considered a hypercorrection (a ‘correction’ that adds an error). Not all words ending in -ly are adverbs, though. For example, family-friendly event is hyphenated because family is a noun, not an adverb.

    Hyphens with long phrasal adjectives

    What about when you have a long phrase – more than three words – modifying a noun?  There are a few ways of treating these, and it’s up to you how you’d like to approach it. Personally, I prefer hyphens, but quote marks or italics can also work, especially if it’s a particularly long phrase. Here’s what I mean:

    • She wore a don’t-mess-with-me expression
    • I clocked her do not go there look
    • The old house had a ‘someone definitely died here’ feel

    Hyphens with prefixes

    Let’s talk about the other headache in the writer’s studio: prefixes. We use a hyphen for clarity when adding the prefix doubles or triples a vowel or consonant:

    • co-opt
    • re-examine
    • bell-like
    • pre-eminent
    • anti-inflammatory

    (Although, not always. Some words are well known enough that they no longer use a hyphen, like cooperate and coordinate. Always check your dictionary if you’re unsure.)

    A hyphen is also used with a prefix to help us distinguish between words that are spelled the same way but have a different meaning. For example:

    • re-creation / recreation
    • re-cover / recover
    • un-ionise / unionise
    • re-sign / resign

    You should always use a hyphen with the prefix ‘ex-’:

    • ex-president
    • ex-boyfriend
    • ex-employee

    And when using ‘self’ as a prefix:

    • self-satisfied
    • self-employed
    • self-absorbed
    We also often use a hyphen with the prefix ‘non-‘: 
    • non-porous
    • non-event
    • non-hyphenated (I know!)

    Hyphens with numbers

    Another use case for hyphens is in numbers 21–99 when written out as words:

    • twenty-one
    • eighty-three
    • two hundred and ninety-nine

    They’re also used to join parts of a fraction when written as words:

    • two-thirds
    • one-quarter

    Use hyphens with numbers as figures or words when they’re forming a compound adjective. For example:

    • A 17-year-old boy
    • Take a 10-minute break / take a ten-minute break
    • A two-storey building  
    • The 44-room hotel / the forty-four-room hotel

    What about when referring to height? Perhaps you want to describe your characters’ height in feet. Generally, this doesn’t require hyphens:

    • He stood tall at six foot two
    • She was all of five foot nothing

    But, remember the rule about compound adjectives modifying a noun:

    • A six-foot-two man
    • The five-foot-nothing woman was angry
    • She wore four-inch heels

    Hyphens in names

    Do all double-barrelled last names require a hyphen? No. This is up to the individual, even if other family members use the hyphen, so always check if you’re referring to a real person:

    • Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
    • Helena Bonham Carter
    • Julia Louis-Dreyfus
    • Kristin Scott Thomas

    The same applies to first names. Consider:

    • Mary-Anne / Maryanne
    • John-Paul / John Paul

    Hyphens to indicate stuttering and spelling

    Finally, let’s talk about a use case for hyphens that often crops up in fiction. This is when you want to show your character stuttering, stammering or stumbling in their speech. You can use hyphens to illustrate their faltering dialogue by placing them between repeated sounds, like this:

    • ‘I-I-I didn’t s-s-see that, sir,’ he spluttered.
    • ‘Sh-sh-she said so!’

    Note that you don’t need to repeat the capital in a stuttered sound at the beginning of a sentence, unless that sound is from a proper noun:

    • ‘G-G-Grandma isn’t here.’

    There are a few ways to indicate faltering speech, including using ellipses and dashes, but if you specifically want to show a stammering or stuttering sound, hyphens used in this way is a good option.

    You can also use hyphens to indicate a word that is spelled out: 

    • ‘It’s Anne with an E. A-N-N-E.’

    Common hyphen mistakes

    The most common hyphen usage mistakes I see in fiction and non-fiction manuscripts:

    • – Hyphenating adverbs ending in -ly in compound modifiers
    • – Failing to hyphenate compound modifiers before a noun.

    If you learn nothing else, getting a handle on these will save you time and stress at your writing desk!

    If you have more questions about hyphens, drop me a line! And if you’d like help wrangling punctuation, get in touch with me to chat about a copyedit for your project. I offer a free sample edit so you can see exactly how copyediting will enhance your storytelling and clarify your message.

  • Editing, How-to, Uncategorized

    5 ways to improve your manuscript

    Good news! These tips don’t involve any writing.

    Feeling a bit of writer’s block? Don’t worry, there are lots of ways to improve your manuscript without having to labour over sentences and story arc.

    Here are five ways to give your work-in-progress a lift, without lifting your word count.

    1. Brush up formatting

    Go through your manuscript and make sure each chapter is set on a new page (use a page break instead of hitting that return button), chapters are numbered in order, and you’ve used an easy-to-read font like Times New Roman 12 pt, with double or 1.5 line spacing.

    This will instantly improve your manuscript by giving it a more consistent and professional appearance, and save you time later when you’re getting it ready to submit to publishers or agents.

    2. Check regional spelling

    Did you know there are lots of variations of English? Depending on your target audience, you can choose the one your readers will be most familiar with. If you’re publishing in Australia, use Australian English. This means you’ll be following the Macquarie Dictionary for spelling variations. If you’re aiming for the US market, go with US English – the Merriam-Webster is a great resource (and it’s free!). For British readers, use UK English and the Oxford Dictionary.

    Choosing a regional English language helps you to maintain consistency across your manuscript. It ensures you catch words that are spelled differently in different countries – like curb and kerb, cosy and cozy – and it will guide you on regional terms such as trash can or garbage bin, sidewalk or pavement, lollies or candy, cell phone or mobile phone – the list goes on.

    3. Look at consistency

    I can’t emphasise enough how important consistency is in making a finished manuscript look professional! As the author, you get to make a lot of decisions about the words you want to use and your preferred spelling variations to ensure consistency. Run searches for words that can be spelled differently, such as OK vs okay, and choose one to use throughout. You should also check whether you’ve used punctuation such as quote marks (single or double) and dashes (en or em) consistently throughout.

    Note: in Australia, we tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles, eg: ’Hey, did you hear that song, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’ The US tends to reverse this: double quotes with nested singles, eg: “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa‘s new song, ’Illusion’.

    Consistency affects loads of elements: You can also make a note of how you’ll use numbers (as a basic starting point, we often see numbers one to ninety-nine spelled out and 100+ as numerals in books), show time (words or figures), address capitalisation in headings, punctuate abbreviations and more.

    And of course, it affects aspects such as character features and setting details as well. Taking note of whether your main character has blue eyes and always wears rose-scented perfume will ensure you don’t confuse readers by mixing up those foundational details later in the story.

    4. Review character names

    Do any of your characters have similar sounding names? If you have two characters with names that look and sound alike – Dave and Dan or Lisa and Liz, for instance – it’s a good idea to change one of them, to ensure readers don’t get confused about who’s doing what. This applies to minor characters too!

    Even if you don’t think your characters’ names are similar, they can appear that way on the page to a reader who’s skimming over a paragraph. So even sharing the same initial can be enough to warrant changing a character name.

    While you’re there, keep an eye out for characters’ names that have changed during the course of the novel. This happens more often than you might think!

    5. Weed out repetition

    Do you already know which words you have a tendency to use in every second sentence? If so, do a search and see how many instances you can remove to ensure they don’t become repetitive. This applies to elements such as speech tags and action beats, too. You might find you’re often making your characters fiddle with their hair or exclaim loudly!

    If you haven’t yet twigged to your crutch words, start by searching for adverbs: really, very, finally, actually and completely are common, and most of the time you don’t need them. Take a look and see how many you can weed out! It’ll make your writing so much stronger.

    Don’t feel bad that you’ve developed a writing crutch – it’s natural to reach for the same words over and over, especially when working on a full-length novel. Looking out for them so you can change it up is all part of the editing process – and it’s a powerful way to improve your manuscript.

    Want some help maintaining consistency in your work? Reach out about line and copyediting. I’ll look out for all these aspects and more, and will record all decisions in a style sheet so you can keep track of your preferences throughout the publishing process.

  • How-to

    Who’s talking? Finding the right point-of-view character for your scene

    Hands up if you’re writing a dual or multi-POV novel? It’s a really popular format for commercial fiction, and it offers loads of benefits for authors: you can give the reader deeper insight into your characters and give yourself greater scope to reveal plot points. But one stumbling block you might come across along the way is working out which character should be telling the story in critical scenes.

    It can be a tricky decision to make, especially when you have two (or more) protagonists whose growth and journey is equally important to the overall narrative arc and the themes you’re expressing. That means it’s likely that the major events of your novel will be important for all characters! So, who should get to tell the story in those moments?

    All of them! I hear you cry. While that might work for you creatively, it’s not always a great outcome for the reader – seeing the same moment from multiple perspectives can be a little tedious. Instead, if you do want to have more than one character’s experience of a particular plot point on the page, it’s a good idea to show the big moment from one perspective and then let another character pick up just after the incident occurs, to keep the story moving forward.

    So, how do you find the most powerful POV?

    Here’s what I recommend: Choose the character who has the most at stake.

    Ask yourself, who has the most to lose (or gain) from this pivotal plot point? It’s their reactions and emotions as they face this hurdle that will give you the most to play with – and that will resonate most strongly with your reader.

    Look closer

    Maybe you didn’t think too hard about which character told which part of the story when writing your first draft. You got into a rhythm and switched POV at each chapter, or got comfy staying in one voice for a few chapters at a time. That’s fine – it’s great to just get the words on the page. When you’re doing your first edits, however, keep POV in the back of your mind as you assess your story’s pace and dramatic impact.

    If you feel that the critical points of your novel are falling flat and failing to hit the emotional stride you were aiming for, check the POV. Is the character with the most to lose telling the story in that scene? Or is it another who has less at stake, and is acting more as an observer? Try rewriting the scene through another character’s eyes to see if that helps raise the drama and tension.

    Equal opportunity

    Maybe the scene has equally high stakes for all of your POV characters – for instance, if you’re writing a dual-POV romance, both protagonists might be equally affected by a conflict that arises in their blossoming relationship; in a mystery novel, more than one character could easily be impacted by an important clue coming to light. In that case, think about who these characters are and how they respond to significant events. Would they appear calm in the face of crisis but fall apart internally? Do they wear their emotions on their sleeve? Are they trying so hard to keep everything together that they’re at the point of breaking? Of these, which character would give you the most to play with, emotionally speaking? Which character’s reaction style best reflects the themes of your novel? And how would their reactions – both internal and external – appear on the page?

    There’s no right or wrong answer here but considering these factors as you refine and polish your story can help you play around with the dramatic tension in your work – and lead to a more impactful experience for your reader.

    If you’d like support wrangling your multi-POV novel, I can help! Get in touch to chat about structural editing or manuscript assessments.