tips

  • How-to, Writing

    How to write great chapter and scene openers

    Chapter and scene openers matter just as much as the closing lines. Here’s some tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    If you want to keep your readers hooked at the end of a chapter so they’re up all night reading your book, you know what to do: drop a clue, drop the mic, or drop a cliffhanger they can’t resist.

    But what about the next page? How do you harness that momentum and intrigue at the top of the next chapter or scene?

    Chapter and scene openers need to work just as hard to keep your readers invested, and when you put thought and care into them, they will lure your readers through your story.

    Here are a few tips for crafting strong scenes from the very top.

    Consider its purpose

    Just as your novel has a beginning, middle and end, so should your scenes. They need to move your story forward, and to do that they need a purpose.

    When you’re writing or reviewing a scene, think about its overall purpose in the story. Is it setting up a conversation that will reveal an important clue? Perhaps it’s pushing a couple to a make-or-break point. Or it could be about putting a character under stress or moving them closer to their goal. Pinpointing what the scene needs to do can give you ideas about the most impactful place for it to begin.

    In Chapter 20 of Love, Just In by Natalie Murray, a scene in which the protagonist Josie confronts her health anxiety with a doctor for the first time opens with this line:

    • Doctor Ellison is running nearly an hour behind, leaving me plenty of time to read and reread the cancer awareness posters taped to the wall until my palms are slick and my mouth has dried to a desert.

    In this scene, the consult with the doctor is what moves the story forward, so Murray doesn’t spend too long building up Josie’s anxiety beforehand.

    Instead, she opens in the moment just before the appointment begins and shows us how Josie is feeling in one carefully crafted sentence. The next line shows her name being called, and we’re straight into the scene with the doctor.

    Cut mundane detail

    It’s easy to do because we live it, but chapter and scene openers that describe mundane activities (waking up and brushing teeth, washing dishes, having a polite chat) or an info dump (lots of backstory), or a routine journey can slow the pace and give your reader an excuse to tap out.

    The beauty of writing a book is that scene and chapter breaks can cut the chaff for you – there’s no need to show a character going from A to B or making small talk about the weather when you can open a scene or chapter with drama.

    Try cutting the stage directions and opening in medias res – the middle of the action – whether that’s a tense conversation or a chase down the street or a devastating reveal.

    Here’s an example from Chapter 24 of Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister (Murray’s POV), which opens with an irresistible line of dialogue:

    • “You’re angry with me,” Lily said.
    • She was standing in front of my golf cart, arms folded.

    We don’t see Murray make his way to the golf cart, start the engine and roll down the hill, nor do we see him clock Lily making her way across the lawn. We dive straight into their make-or-break conversation.

    Make us laugh

    Use your character’s inner voice to get us on side.

    What are they thinking in this moment? Starting with that thought, especially if it’s incongruous with the scenario they’re in, is like catnip for readers.

    Consider this from Chapter Seven of That Island Feeling by Karina May, in which POV character Jack is cleaning rooms at the local resort:

    • Humans are foul. Especially humans on holidays. It’s like they forget the basics of cleanliness. Coffee stains on sheets, crumbs on sheets – other things on sheets.

    Or this line from Wattle it Be by Emma Mugglestone, when Wyatt fronts up for dinner with the crush he can’t have, Billie (page 42).

    • It wasn’t like this was a real date.  

    One is written in first person, the other third, but both examples show us the character’s unique voice, pulling us in with their humour and wilful self-delusion.

    Set the scene

    Writing isn’t all dialogue and inner narrative. You also need to anchor the story in place. Setting the scene can be an effective way to open a chapter – just take care not to overdo it. A few lines of description can paint a picture, while a few pages can send the reader to sleep.

    This para from Chapter Five of Kit McBride Gets a Wife by Amy Barry works beautifully – it’s just enough rich detail to bring to life the charming tableau that’s about to be shattered by Junebug’s rough manners and scheming.

    • Willabelle was holding court in one of Rigby’s high-backed cane chairs. She was decked out in canary-yellow satin, with an enormous fluffy yellow feather curling from her pile of blond hair. She was glowing, the sun around which everything orbited. The porch was crammed with miners. Every seat was full, and the porch rail was hidden, as men lined it, elbow to elbow. All of them had their gazes trained on Willabelle.

    Bonus tip: Don’t overthink it

    Not every scene needs to shock and awe. You need some variety in your novel, and some slower-paced openers can allow readers time to breathe and absorb the story.

    But if you feel that your writing is falling flat, playing around with those chapter and scene openers and cutting away extraneous detail to highlight the purpose of the scene might just be the way to add some sparkle to your story.

    Want help refining your scene and chapter openers? Get in touch to chat about editing for your novel.

  • Editing, How-to

    How to punctuate dialogue in fiction

    Polishing your dialogue punctuation is an easy way to make your manuscript look professional and keep who’s speaking clear for your reader.

    Proper dialogue punctuation isn’t just about following the rules. It makes the reading experience seamless and enjoyable for your audience, allowing them to focus on the conversation and immerse in the scene you’ve created.

    There are two big problems with inconsistent or incorrect punctuation. The first is that it pulls your reader out of the story as they trip over confusing sentences or grammar faux pas. The second is that it immediately marks you as an amateur. And that’s the last thing you want to flag to potential readers, agents or publishers.

    So, here’s how to punctuate dialogue in fiction properly, from the basics to some next-level tips (and yes, these apply to non-fiction writers too). 

    Which quote marks to use?

    Choose from either single or double quote marks and stick with it.

    Books published in Australia and the UK tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles for quoting within the quote.

    • For example: ‘Hey, do you like that song “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’

    US books (and Australian newspapers and magazines, just to keep us on our toes) reverse this, using double quotes with nested singles: 

    • “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa’s new song, ‘Illusion’.”

    You can choose which you prefer; I promise it doesn’t matter. The only rule is to be consistent with your choice.

    Do I have to use quote marks?

    Nope! Some good alternatives might be to put speech in italics, or to use dashes before dialogue, with each speaker taking a new line, the way you might see it set out in a transcript or play. (This can be confusing if there are more than two speakers, however!) But honestly, I don’t recommend going without quote marks altogether. Readers are so familiar with quote marks they barely register them. But when they’re missing, they really notice it. It can trip up some readers as they struggle to differentiate between narrative prose and dialogue, and that can pull them out of the story, which is the last thing you want.

    For some authors it’s a stylistic choice – and that’s totally fine. Sarah Winman, Kate Grenville and Deborah Levy are among the modern authors who have chosen this approach. If you love that style (and you’re writing literary fiction), go for it!

    My advice, however, is to leave this controversial move to the literary greats and use quote marks for your dialogue, especially you’re writing commercial genre fiction. Don’t give your readers a reason to put your book down!

    How to punctuate dialogue with a speech tag

    OK, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

    Speech tags are phrases that report how a character is speaking, such as said/says, reply/replied, ask/asked. They’re so common that they’re often as ‘invisible’ to readers as quote marks.

    When a speech tag follows dialogue, use a comma before the closing quote mark. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ said Violet.
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes,” said Violet.

    Don’t place the comma outside the closing quote mark, like this:

    • Wrong: ‘Amber, I love your shoes’, said Violet.
    • Wrong: “Amber, I love your shoes”, said Violet.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, a comma before the closing quote mark is NOT needed. 

    Here are some examples with both single and double quote marks:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!,’ Violet said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.
    • Wrong: “Do you really like them?,” Amber replied.
    • Right: “Do you really like them?” Amber replied.

    And even though it goes against what you learned at primary school, don’t be tempted to use a capital letter for the word following a question mark or exclamation mark in dialogue. For example:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!’ She said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ she said.

    The exception: if you’re using a proper noun:

    • ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.

    What about if you want to put a speech tag before the speech? Use a comma after the speech tag and before the opening quote mark. Then finish the dialogue with a full stop inside the quote marks.

    • Violet said, ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Amber replied, ‘Thank you, I got them on sale.’

    How to punctuate dialogue without a speech tag

    You might not always want to use a speech tag. Once your characters are in the rhythm of a conversation, you don’t need to indicate who is speaking every time, because the convention of putting each speaker’s dialogue on a new line keeps it clear. In this case, simply finish the dialogue with a full stop (or other terminal punctuation like a question mark or exclamation mark) inside the quote marks. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes.”
    • Single quotes: ‘Thank you, I really like them too!’
    • Double quotes: “Thank you, I really like them too!”

    How to punctuate dialogue with action beats

    Action beats show how a character is moving or reacting during dialogue. They’re similar to speech tags in that they indicate who is speaking, but they add a little extra characterisation that allows the author to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’, so they’re a great device to use in fiction.

    To punctuate dialogue with an action beat instead of a speech tag, use a full stop before the closing quote mark instead of a comma. The action beat is in bold in the examples below. (Note: I’ll use single quotes for the rest of these examples – the punctuation is exactly the same when using double quote marks.)

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet crouched down for a closer look.
    • ‘Really? Thank you.’ Amber glowed with pleasure at the compliment.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, use that as your terminal punctuation instead of a full stop.

    • ‘Thanks, Violet!’ Amber blushed.

    Keep an eye out for action beats masquerading as speech tags. For instance, laugh, smile, frown, sigh, wink and yawn are actions, not speech. So, if you catch something like:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber winked.

    Change the comma to a full stop, as you would when using an action beat:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks.’ Amber winked.

    If you want to combine a speech tag with an action beat, use a comma to separate the speech tag from the action beat, like this:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet said, crouching down for a closer look.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber replied, twisting her ankle to show off the strappy heel.

    How to punctuate dialogue interruptions and trailing off

    To show someone’s voice trailing off, use an ellipsis inside the quote marks. No other terminal punctuation is needed. For bonus points, avoid telling the reader that the speaker’s voice has trailed off. The ellipsis does that work for you.

    • ‘Could I borrow them?’ Violet asked.
    • ‘I guess …’ Amber said.

    (Try to avoid writing: ‘I guess …’ Amber said, trailing off.)

    Here’s another example:

    • Wrong: ‘I wonder if …,’
    • Right: ‘I wonder if …’

    If you want to show speech that has been interrupted or broken off, use an em dash at the end of the interrupted sentence. No full stop or comma is needed after the dash, just your closing quote mark:

    • Right: ‘Wow, those shoes are—’ 
    • Wrong: ‘Wow, those shoes are—.’

    How to differentiate speakers

    Remember when I said above that you don’t always need to use a speech tag to tell a reader who is saying what? The conventional way to indicate different speakers in a conversation is to put each speaker’s dialogue on a new line. This is a tried-and-true format that makes dialogue easy to follow without too many overt cues.

    Even if the speaker isn’t speaking but simply reacting to something that the other character has said, put that action on a new line too. Otherwise you risk confusing your reader. For example, if you wrote:

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said. ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    The reader will likely be confused for a second, because with both speakers’ dialogue and Amber’s reaction on the one line, it’s hard to differentiate between who said what. Instead, place Amber’s response and reaction on a new line to avoid confusing readers even for an instant.

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said.
    • ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    How to punctuate dialogue that’s broken up with a speech tag or action beat

    Say you want to break up one character’s dialogue with a speech tag. This can be helpful to break up long stretches of dialogue and to enhance characterisation. Here’s how you’d do it if you were placing a speech tag between two complete sentences:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said. ‘Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone.’

    In this case, I don’t care what you think and Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone are separate sentences, so you simply punctuate the first sentence with a comma as you would any other dialogue. There’s no need to add a speech tag to the second sentence because it’s already clear who’s speaking, so a full stop before the closing quote mark is all that’s needed.

    If you’re inserting an action beat between two complete sentences, there’s no need for a comma at the end of the first sentence because, as shown above, it isn’t followed by a speech tag. So a full stop before the closing quote mark in both sentences is all that’s required. Take a look at this example:

    • ‘I didn’t want you to come.’ Joan crossed her arms. ‘I just want to be alone.’

    If your speech tag interrupts one sentence rather than two complete sentences, use a comma after the speech tag and a lower case letter in the next clause to indicate the sentence is continuing. Here are a couple of examples:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said, ‘because your opinion means nothing to me.’
    • ‘We went to the shops,’ she said quickly, ‘then the pool, then the library.’

    What about if you want to break up the sentence with an action beat rather than a speech tag? This can be a great way to add tension or emotion to a scene. In this case, use dashes outside the quote marks to separate the speech from the action. No commas are needed. Take a look at these examples:

    • ‘I told you’ – Amy jabbed a finger at his chest – ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • ‘What if he’s not guilty? What if he really is’ – Aaron swallowed roughly – ‘innocent?’

    If you’re using em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I told you’—Amy jabbed a finger at his chest—‘I’m not giving up.’

    Remember, if the action is related to another speaker, it needs to be treated carefully. Ideally you’d put it on a new line, otherwise it can look like the speech is coming from a different character to the one you intended. Consider this line of Amy’s from above, interrupted with an action from Aaron and punctuated as though it were a speech tag:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Aaron glanced at her, shocked, ‘I’m not giving up.’

    It reads as though Aaron is speaking, right? That’s because the commas before the quote marks signal to your practiced reader eye that a speech tag is coming. Using a speech tag or adding dashes and tweaking the action beat to include Amy would fix it:

    • Speech tag: ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Amy replied, and Aaron glanced at her, shocked. ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • Dashes: ‘I don’t care what you say’ – Amy narrowed her eyes as Aaron shook his head – ‘I’m not giving up.’

    If the action interrupting dialogue is related to a different character and is followed by their speech, place the action and speech on a new line. In this example, Aaron follows his glance with dialogue:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say!’ Amy replied.
    • Aaron glanced at her. ‘It’s dangerous, Amy. I think you should reconsider.’
    • ‘I’m not giving up.’

    Common dialogue punctuation mistakes

    Let’s rehash. Dialogue punctuation is super important because getting it right guides your reader and helps them to stay immersed in the story. There are lots of nuances to dialogue punctuation, but I’ve covered the most common ones fiction writers are likely to encounter here.

    The dialogue mistakes I regularly see in fiction and non-fiction manuscripts:

    • – Using quote marks inconsistently
    • – Placing commas or full stops outside the closing punctuation mark
    • – Punctuating action beats as speech tags.

    Getting a handle on these will give your manuscript a professional edge and mark you as a serious writer. And even better, when you know how to punctuate dialogue properly, you can focus on making that dialogue shine.

    If you have any more questions about how to punctuate dialogue in fiction, drop me a line! And if you’d like help wrangling your manuscript’s grammar, get in touch with me to chat about a line and copyedit for your project. I offer a free sample edit so you can see exactly how copyediting will enhance your storytelling and clarify your message.

  • How-to

    How to use dashes: a guide for authors

    Get a handle on how to use en and em dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing

    Welcome to the much-requested follow-up to my hyphen blog post! I’m here to walk you through how to use dashes in fiction and non-fiction writing, because I know you love them but you don’t always know if you need them.

    What are dashes?

    Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about hyphens (-) here. We covered that in this post. Dashes are similar but longer horizontal lines that have an entirely different role to play in your writing.

    Depending on your preference or your region, you may be more familiar with an en dash (–) or an em dash (—). The en dash is more often seen in British and Australian English texts, while the em dash is common in the land that loves everything bigger: America, of course!

    This is not a hard and fast rule: you can use whatever length dash in any location, as long as you’re consistent. Their names are a throwback to the early days of typesetting: an en dash is a line that is approximately the width of the letter N, while the em dash is about the width of the letter M.

    Spacing around dashes

    You might have noticed that dashes are often used with or without spaces around them. Often, an en dash is ‘spaced’. It looks like – this.

    Em dashes are often seen ‘closed’, like—this. But they can also be left ‘open’, like — this.

    How to type en dashes and em dashes

    If you use a Mac, it’s easy.

    • En dash: option + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: option + shift + hyphen [-]

    For Windows users, it’s a little more complicated.

    In Microsoft Word, you can type a hyphen [-] with spaces around it and it will automatically convert to a dash. For an em dash, type two hyphens without spaces around them and it will convert to a closed em dash.

    Or use these shortcuts:

    • En dash: ctrl + hyphen [-]
    • Em dash: alt + ctrl + hyphen [-]

    Outside of Microsoft Office programs, use these shortcuts:

    • Em dash: alt + 0151
    • En dash: alt + 0150

    If your dream is a keyboard with an em or en dash key, you could map a key you don’t often use to type your preferred dash.

    Which dash is best?

    There’s no right or wrong here. It’s a style choice. In the UK and Australia, we tend to use spaced en dashes. US readers will probably be more familiar with closed em dashes. Consider using the style that your audience will be familiar with. The most important thing is to be consistent, so if you usually use en dashes, don’t just throw in a closed em dash when you feel particularly, er, dashing.

    There are a few caveats (of course. This is English we’re talking about). In some cases, an en or em dash is the correct option, regardless of your style for dashes. Let’s go through the uses for dashes.

    Dashes that separate a word, clause or phrase from the main clause

    This is, I think, the most common use of dashes and the most commonly confused. We use dashes (en or em) to add information, an explanation, a humorous aside, or to interject. I see writers become concerned that using dashes in this way is somehow incorrect, which I think stems from the fact that dashes are just one way of punctuating these kinds of sentences; you can also use parentheses and commas.

    Let’s take a look:

    • The man – a stranger – was tall and imposing.

    You could also write this sentence as:

    • The man, a stranger, was tall and imposing.
    • The man (a stranger) was tall and imposing.

    None of these are wrong, but consider the impact of each punctuation choice. For me, the dashes give the sentence greater tension than the quieter comma or the gentle aside of the parentheses. The emphasis on the stranger is stark, pointing out that the reader should take special note of this information. The parentheses and the commas don’t give the same sense of foreboding or danger. So if you’re debating whether to use a dash or alternative punctuation, try writing them out and seeing if the tone of the sentence changes. Sometimes you might not want the drama of the dashes!

    Dashes can also be used to create a sense of humour or sarcasm. Think of them like a comedic beat. For example:

    • The kids were helping in the kitchen – well, that’s how they put it.
    • Trump said the trial was ‘very terrible’ – it was certainly an ordeal for our reporters.

    You can also use a dash instead of a colon. For instance:

    • At last, the man told them his name: Michael.
    • At last, the man told them his name – Michael.

    Or you might be tossing up between a dash and a semicolon. For example:

    • She knew all about the new guy – everyone did.
    • She knew all about the new guy; everyone did.

    And remember, you can use closed em dashes if that’s your style:

    • The man—a stranger—was imposing.
    • At last, the man told them his name—Michael.
    • She knew all about the new guy—everyone did.

    As with so much in writing, whether to use a dash or an alternative punctuation mark is up to you and your unique style. You might feel that a colon is too formal for your project, or that parentheses don’t belong in dialogue. These are valid arguments, and if you feel strongly about it, always communicate that with your editor so they know your preferences.

    Dashes in dialogue

    Another really important use of dashes in fiction (and non-fiction, especially narrative non-fiction) is to set off narrative description when it interrupts dialogue.

    You probably already know all about using action beats in dialogue (if not, stay tuned for a blog post soon). When these fall between full sentences, it looks like this (the action beat is in bold):

    • ‘I did the job, just like you asked.’ Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg. ‘I want my money.’

    But when the action beat interrupts a sentence, you can use dashes to show action happening at the same time as the speech. Take a look at this:

    • ‘I did the job’ – Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg – ‘and now I want my money.’

    If you’re using closed em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I did the job’—Michael ran a sweaty palm down his leg—‘and now I want my money.’

    We also use dashes to indicate when dialogue is interrupted. Usually (not always!), we use em dashes for this, regardless of whether the overall style is for en dashes or not. Take a look at this:

    • ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth—’
    • ‘I told you, I want my money!’

    While a closed em dash is the simplest way to indicate broken-off speech, some style guides will differentiate between a spaced em dash after a complete word to indicate a broken-off sentence, and a closed-up em dash to indicate a broken-off word:

    • To indicate an interrupted sentence: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t worth —’
    • To indicate an interrupted word: ‘Michael, the job just wasn’t wor—’

    Other style guides might use spaced en dashes instead of em dashes for interruptions. Take a look at this conversation between Taylor and Andie in That Island Feeling by Karina May, published by Pan Macmillan.

    • ‘I won’t hear another word about it! We’re taking you away,’ I announce.
    • ‘But I don’t –’
    • ‘I know the perfect place.’

    It’s worth noting that no other punctuation is needed after the dash before the closing quotation mark. For example, please don’t ever write: ‘But I don’t —,’ or ‘But I don’t—.’

    What about the sentence following the interruption – shouldn’t that begin with a dash, you might ask? I see this a lot, but the only case for it is when the sentence is interrupted and a different character or the same character finishes the same sentence. Take a look at this example from Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister, published by Simon & Schuster, in which Lily and Murray are discussing their first job on a reality TV show:

    •  ‘It’s a long game,’ I said. ‘First, we learn the rules. And then—’
    • ‘—we seize the means of production?’

    Here, Murray is finishing the sentence for Lily, so the opening dash shows that it’s the one sentence. Similarly, you might have one character’s sentence interrupted by action and dialogue, like this:

    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘—I’m going to marry him, dammit!’ I yelled.
    If the character had responded to Mum’s question about the pizza (therefore beginning a new sentence), it would be punctuated like this: 
     
    • ‘Look, I love him and—’
    • The doorbell rang and my parents’ heads swivelled to the sound.
    • ‘Darling, the pizza’s here. Can this wait?’ Mum asked gently.
    • ‘No, it absolutely cannot!’ I yelled.

    Dashes that indicate halting speech

    In my guide to hyphens I showed how to use hyphens to indicate stuttered speech. Similarly you can use dashes to show speech that is faltering or hesitant, with dashes between each full word. This is great way to show a character who is flustered, rushed or nervous. Here’s an example with both em dashes and en dashes.

    • Em dashes: ‘I don’t—I mean, I can’t—I just—I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’
    • En dashes: ‘I don’t – I mean, I can’t – I just – I’m not sure about this, Mandy.’

    If you wanted to show the sentence trailing off, you could use an ellipsis alongside your dashes:

    • ‘I just – I don’t know … I’m not sure, Mandy.’

    Dashes between words of equal importance

    While hyphens are used to join two or more words to create a single unit, an en dash can be used in a similar way to show an equal relationship between the words. For example:

    • win–win
    • work–life balance
    • on–off relationship
    • doctor–patient confidentiality
    This is always the job of an en dash, even if your style is to use em dashes as dashes generally.

    Dashes in a range

    Again, regardless of your style, use en dashes only to replace ‘to’ and ‘from’ in a range:

    • Monday–Friday
    • 9.30am–5pm
    • 1980–1990

    Dashes to indicate omitted text

    Want to use swear words without swearing? Use em dashes (and only em dashes). Want to mention a person without actually revealing the name? Use em dashes. A closed em dash indicates that part of the word is missing, while a spaced em dash indicates the entire word has been omitted.

    • ‘You are a real piece of s—, you are,’ he said.
    • The antique belongs to Mrs — of Highgate.

    Author Meg Mason uses this technique to devastating effect in her book Sorrow and Bliss published by Fourth Estate. Two em dashes (indicating two missing words) are used throughout to conceal the name of Martha’s mental illness, forcing the reader to set aside unconscious biases and focus on the character’s experience. Here’s an example of how it was used:

    • All of it had been chosen by a woman who as far as she knew did not have — —, a woman who just thought she wasn’t good at being a person.

    Common mistakes with dashes

    The biggest dash clangers I see as an editor?

    • * Not using en or em dashes consistently
    • * Adding a comma or full stop after a dash used to indicate an interrupted sentence

    Most of the time, though, I think authors have a good instinct for using them to indicate an aside or to separate a clause or phrase within a sentence, so don’t stress about your dashes – follow your heart!

    All you have to decide now is which dash you prefer – are you an en or an em dash author?

    If you have more questions about how to use dashes in your writing, drop me a line. I can also help you manage your punctuation mishaps with a line and copyedit for your work in progress. Get in touch for a free sample edit. 

  • Editing, How-to, Uncategorized

    5 ways to improve your manuscript

    Good news! These tips don’t involve any writing.

    Feeling a bit of writer’s block? Don’t worry, there are lots of ways to improve your manuscript without having to labour over sentences and story arc.

    Here are five ways to give your work-in-progress a lift, without lifting your word count.

    1. Brush up formatting

    Go through your manuscript and make sure each chapter is set on a new page (use a page break instead of hitting that return button), chapters are numbered in order, and you’ve used an easy-to-read font like Times New Roman 12 pt, with double or 1.5 line spacing.

    This will instantly improve your manuscript by giving it a more consistent and professional appearance, and save you time later when you’re getting it ready to submit to publishers or agents.

    2. Check regional spelling

    Did you know there are lots of variations of English? Depending on your target audience, you can choose the one your readers will be most familiar with. If you’re publishing in Australia, use Australian English. This means you’ll be following the Macquarie Dictionary for spelling variations. If you’re aiming for the US market, go with US English – the Merriam-Webster is a great resource (and it’s free!). For British readers, use UK English and the Oxford Dictionary.

    Choosing a regional English language helps you to maintain consistency across your manuscript. It ensures you catch words that are spelled differently in different countries – like curb and kerb, cosy and cozy – and it will guide you on regional terms such as trash can or garbage bin, sidewalk or pavement, lollies or candy, cell phone or mobile phone – the list goes on.

    3. Look at consistency

    I can’t emphasise enough how important consistency is in making a finished manuscript look professional! As the author, you get to make a lot of decisions about the words you want to use and your preferred spelling variations to ensure consistency. Run searches for words that can be spelled differently, such as OK vs okay, and choose one to use throughout. You should also check whether you’ve used punctuation such as quote marks (single or double) and dashes (en or em) consistently throughout.

    Note: in Australia, we tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles, eg: ’Hey, did you hear that song, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’ The US tends to reverse this: double quotes with nested singles, eg: “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa‘s new song, ’Illusion’.

    Consistency affects loads of elements: You can also make a note of how you’ll use numbers (as a basic starting point, we often see numbers one to ninety-nine spelled out and 100+ as numerals in books), show time (words or figures), address capitalisation in headings, punctuate abbreviations and more.

    And of course, it affects aspects such as character features and setting details as well. Taking note of whether your main character has blue eyes and always wears rose-scented perfume will ensure you don’t confuse readers by mixing up those foundational details later in the story.

    4. Review character names

    Do any of your characters have similar sounding names? If you have two characters with names that look and sound alike – Dave and Dan or Lisa and Liz, for instance – it’s a good idea to change one of them, to ensure readers don’t get confused about who’s doing what. This applies to minor characters too!

    Even if you don’t think your characters’ names are similar, they can appear that way on the page to a reader who’s skimming over a paragraph. So even sharing the same initial can be enough to warrant changing a character name.

    While you’re there, keep an eye out for characters’ names that have changed during the course of the novel. This happens more often than you might think!

    5. Weed out repetition

    Do you already know which words you have a tendency to use in every second sentence? If so, do a search and see how many instances you can remove to ensure they don’t become repetitive. This applies to elements such as speech tags and action beats, too. You might find you’re often making your characters fiddle with their hair or exclaim loudly!

    If you haven’t yet twigged to your crutch words, start by searching for adverbs: really, very, finally, actually and completely are common, and most of the time you don’t need them. Take a look and see how many you can weed out! It’ll make your writing so much stronger.

    Don’t feel bad that you’ve developed a writing crutch – it’s natural to reach for the same words over and over, especially when working on a full-length novel. Looking out for them so you can change it up is all part of the editing process – and it’s a powerful way to improve your manuscript.

    Want some help maintaining consistency in your work? Reach out about line and copyediting. I’ll look out for all these aspects and more, and will record all decisions in a style sheet so you can keep track of your preferences throughout the publishing process.

  • Editing

    What is an author-sensitive editorial approach?

    A note on my editorial values.

    I understood their concerns completely, and I reassured them that their worst-case scenario was very unlikely to come true – with me as their editor, at least. The conversation got me thinking about my editorial values and why I’m so passionate about identifying as an author-sensitive editor.

    I can’t take credit for this terminology – I first heard it when I was learning about structural editing from the wonderful fiction editor Nicola O’Shea. But the concept resonated deeply with me and I knew instantly that this would inform my approach as I set up my editorial business.

    What is it?

    An author-sensitive approach means that I consider the author’s feelings and experience with every edit I make. 

    It’s not about pandering or going soft on an author who can’t hack constructive criticism. Rather, it’s about remembering, always, that being invited to share feedback on someone’s work – especially when it’s a manuscript that’s taken many weeks, months or years to write – is a privilege. 

    Opening yourself up to feedback is a big and scary step, but an essential one. And it deserves to be treated with care and respect. 

    My experience

    I know exactly how intimidating it can feel to share your hard work with others because I’ve been there.

    As a journalist, I’ve had many people critique my work. Not all of their feedback could be described as sensitive! 

    In a busy newsroom, editors and subeditors will slash your copy with a red pen or tell you straight up that your work isn’t good enough. There’s very little time to be gentle when a newspaper needs to go to print. I entered this world as a fresh-faced and eager but very thin-skinned 19-year-old cadet journalist, and let me tell you, it was a steep learning curve. 

    Later, working in magazines, I learned that even though you might have a great idea for a story, if you can’t illustrate it, it’s dead in the water. That your voice is never more important than the magazine’s tone and style. And if you don’t get the words right the first time, you might not get another chance to rework your draft. Instead, the subeditor will do that for you. Because: deadlines.

    I also learned that listening to feedback, whatever the delivery style, is the fastest way to develop as a writer.

    All this to say, I completely understand what authors go through in sharing their work with editors and I have enormous respect for anyone willing to be vulnerable enough to do so, knowing that their story will be stronger for it. But if I can make that process an enjoyable one for authors, I absolutely will. 

    My experiences as a young journalist might have helped me toughen up and get used to receiving feedback, but honestly, I don’t think that I’m better for the harsher critiques. It was the mentors who took the time and care to guide me gently towards better writing who I learned the most from. And as an editor myself, I’ve seen over and over again how a respectful, collaborative and sensitive approach can make an author feel excited and inspired to get stuck into their next draft. 

    To put it simply, I just don’t believe that tough love or shaming are the ingredients that creativity needs to flourish. 

    My editorial values

    So, what does an author-sensitive approach look like? For me, these four values guide my work, whether it’s a structural edit or a line and copy-edit. 

    Respect for craft: Writing a novel is a huge undertaking. I have enormous respect for anyone who has been able to sustain their inspiration for the marathon that a fiction manuscript demands, and for the craft of translating their ideas into a story. This level of dedication and skill deserves to be celebrated.

    Positive feedback: I always highlight what an author has done well, whether it’s a beautiful turn of phrase, excellent dialogue, fine-tuned pacing or deep characterisation. I see your efforts and I applaud them.

    Gentle suggestions: The author is always in control of their story, so I frame my feedback as suggestions, not demands. If it doesn’t resonate with you, no problem. Often, my suggestions will act as a springboard to your own solutions. The idea is to inspire your creativity, not stifle it.

    Empowerment and encouragement: If you’re waiting for me to give you a verdict on whether you can write or not, or whether you should give up writing and go back to your day job, forget it. I don’t do absolutes and I don’t offer judgements on your inherent talent (I’m all about a growth mindset here!). What I will do is highlight your strengths and show you what areas you need to work on, because I believe good writing is something that people can and do learn. I’ll encourage you to keep going and I’ll empower you to work on the next steps yourself, because this is your story. As your editor, I’m your cheerleader!

    Is an author-sensitive approach for everyone? 

    For some people, my approach might feel too soft and gentle – they just want the feedback, and they don’t need the frills! I get that too, and that’s why I really recommend having a chat before booking a service with any editor, so you can see if you gel. Editing is an investment, so you want to make sure you feel confident and comfortable with who you’re working with. 

    One other thing I’ll mention: as part of my author sensitive approach, I want to deliver my edits in an accessible way. So if you’d prefer your structural editorial report delivered as an audio file rather than written material, for instance, I can do that. I can also change the colour of my mark-up in Word if there’s a colour combo that’s better for you visually. I’m open to feedback here, so whatever you need, just ask and I’ll do my best to make it happen.

    If you like the sound of my author-sensitive approach, I’d love to chat with you about your fiction manuscript. To get the ball rolling, drop me a line here.

  • Editing, How-to

    Introducing the vocative comma

    This tiny piece of punctuation saves lives.

    One of the best things about punctuation is that when it’s used correctly it’s invisible in plain sight. It’s like driving a road you know so well that you get home without recalling the journey.

    But when it’s misused? Those misplaced commas, semicolons and dashes can be jarring!

    The vocative comma, however, is often completely invisible. That is, writers tend to leave it out of their sentences altogether. This can have disastrous implications for your characters!

    Allow me to explain. 

    What is a vocative expression? 

    Honey, sweetheart, darling, love – your pet names for your loved ones can be a vocative; so too their actual names. Any word you use to address someone directly is a vocative (also known as a vocative expression), whether it’s kind, disrespectful or neutral. Mate, sir, madam, prime minister … the list is endless! It’s how you use it that matters.

    For instance, in the sentence, “Hey, you!”, you is the vocative expression because that’s the word used as a direct address.

    Although you might not hear it in your speech, a comma is needed with a vocative expression in writing. In fact, it’s an incredibly powerful piece of punctuation.

    Consider the difference between these sentences: 

    “Shoot Pete,” the policeman cried. 

    “Shoot, Pete,” the policeman cried. 

    In the first example, without the vocative comma, Pete’s life is in grave danger! In the second, a vocative comma saves his life, showing us that the policeman is, in fact, directing Pete to shoot someone or something. 

    Similarly, the below sentence can take your story in a wild direction without a vocative comma: 

    “Eat children!” the woman urged. 

    Unless your story is exploring cannibalism, you’re going to need a comma with that: 

    “Eat, children!” the woman urged. 

    The comma makes it clear that the woman wants to feed the children, not feed on them.

    At its simplest, the vocative comma offers instant clarity. For example:

    “I don’t know Alison,” said Judy.

    has a completely different meaning to:

    “I don’t know, Alison,” said Judy.

    How to use the vocative comma

    Where you place the vocative comma depends on where the vocative expression lands in the sentence. 

    If the vocative expression starts the sentence, you need a comma after it (the vocative and its comma are in bold): 

    “Kate, bring me that file,” Alice ordered. 

    “Simone, is that your new bike?” Fred asked.

    If the vocative expression arrives at the end of the sentence, use the comma before the vocative. 

    “Give me my bag, you thief,” Ann said.

    “Where did you get that cool shirt, bro?” James asked.

    If the vocative expression is placed in the middle of the sentence, it needs commas before and after it. 

    “Well, Pete, you shouldn’t have fired that gun,” the policeman said.

    “Hello, darling, would you like a cup of tea?” Jenni offered.

    When does a vocative expression not need a comma?

    You don’t need a comma when the vocative expression is standing alone. Instead, you need a full stop, an exclamation mark, or a question mark. Here are some examples. 

    “Pete! The policeman told you to shoot!” cried Mark. 

    “Darling? Are you there?” Jenni called. 

    “You thief. Bring me that bag,” Anna snapped.

    Embracing the vocative comma

    It can be easy to miss this one when you’re in the flow of writing, and in many cases most people will understand what you mean when you fail to add a vocative comma. It’s not actually life or death!

    But, using the vocative comma is a good habit to get into. Firstly, using punctuation correctly makes for clearer sentences and a seamless experience for your reader, allowing them to fully immerse in your world. And secondly, if you’re working with an editor, getting these little details right will save them time and you money.

    So, keep the vocative comma in mind when you’re polishing your manuscript – and see if you save any lives while you’re at it.