Editing

  • Editing, How-to, Writing

    How to make your dialogue shine

    Give your fictional conversations a glow-up with these tips for talking on the page.

    We talk to other humans all day, every day, so why is it so hard to write realistic conversations between fictional people?

    Probably because effective written dialogue has very little in common with the kind of chats we have in the real world.

    In real life, we make polite small talk, fail to finish our sentences, go on meandering side quests, stumble and stutter and um and ah. It’s how we make each other feel comfortable, but if you tried to replicate it on the page it would be so tedious your reader would very quickly find something (anything) else to do.

    Instead, you want to aim for a glazed version of the real thing, like a hamburger that’s been artfully anointed with hairspray to look mouthwatering in an advertising campaign.

    If you’re struggling to write great banter or get your characters’ convos flowing, start with these tips.

    Eavesdrop on strangers

    This is less about what people are saying and more about how they say it. Listen to the rhythms in people’s speech and the way they dance back and forth with each other. We tend to use shorter words over longer ones, punchier sentences over lengthy, complex phrases. But don’t get too caught up in replicating those choppy rhythms – you need some variety in there too. It’s all about balance. Remember, you’re aiming for real-ish!

    Do use contractions

    I beg you! If you’re writing contemporary fiction, load up your apostrophe splatter gun and keep your finger on the trigger. ‘I’m’ rather than ‘I am’; ‘it’s’ instead of ‘it is’; ‘can’t rather than cannot’ – and so on. Your characters will instantly sound so much more authentic. And when you do want to use the full word for a moment of emphasis, the contrast will mean it lands with the right amount of gravitas.

    Read it aloud

    As a journalist, I was taught to prioritise phone interviews over email questionnaires for the simple reason that people tend to sound like robots when they write things down. If your dialogue isn’t sparking joy, it might be that your writing voice is defaulting to formal settings. You won’t know it till you hear it, so raise your voice and loosen up.

    If you’re dropping words like ‘whilst’ or ‘therefore’, it’s easy to hear where formality has taken the reins. But it can also fly under the radar with something as small as a conjunction. One of my personal bugbears is the use of ‘as’ in place of ‘because’. I find it can drain the life from dialogue, instantly lending it an oddly formal feel:

    • ‘I couldn’t make it today as I got held up at work.’
      ‘I hate gerberas as they remind me of hospitals.’

    If you read those sentences out loud you’ll hear just how stilted and unnatural ‘as’ sounds in this context. But replace that ‘as’ with ‘because’, or maybe even a dash, and it’ll sound much more alive.

    • ‘I couldn’t make it today – I got held up at work.’
      ‘I hate gerberas because they remind me of hospitals.’

    It’s a small change, but effective!

    Give it purpose

    Dialogue does a lot of heavy lifting in storytelling. It’s action, bringing characters together to do something, learn something, make a decision or feel their feelings. It also reveals the characters’ intentions, secrets, fears and hopes. For that reason, every line has to work hard.

    When you’re writing dialogue, think about the purpose of the conversation. How is it moving the story forward? What do you want the characters to discover or decide? What dialogue shows your purpose effectively, and what might be diluting your purpose? For example, you don’t need the filler that we rely on in real conversations – hi, how are you, how was your day. Take us directly to the main course: ‘Where were you?’

    Consider the subtext, too. Often, what characters don’t say is what gives a scene an undercurrent of tension. Rather than tell us exactly what your character is thinking in the dialogue, can you show a disconnect between what they’re saying and what they’re feeling? Perhaps one of your characters is putting on a brave face while screaming inside, or they’re trying to remain calm in a stressful situation. The contrast between their dialogue and their inner narrative creates instant drama.

    Avoid name-dropping

    A surefire way to overcook your dialogue is to throw in lots of names. Like this:

    • ‘Look, Anna, it’s not about you, it’s just the way it turned out.’
    • ‘Is that so, Chloe? Because last time I checked, I was still the boss of this company.’
    • ‘Oh, get off your high horse, Anna!’

    In real life, we rarely address people by name, so overdoing it in fictional dialogue can be distracting or give an unintended patronising edge. If you’re aiming for sarcasm, however, a well-timed name-drop might be perfect. Just use this technique sparingly.

    Ground it in movement

    Dialogue with too many speech tags can start to feel like a game of tennis: 

    • ‘What’s going on?’ I asked. 
    • ‘We’re heading to the stakeout,’ he whispered. 
    • ‘Well, I’m coming,’ I said.
    • ‘Fine. Just don’t hold us up,’ he replied.

    Your first thought might be to pull out most of the speaker attributions and let the dialogue roll merrily on. But that can leave dialogue sounding weirdly disembodied. A nice solution is to add a bit of movement and interiority. Use a mix of physical action beats and interior narration to anchor the characters in the setting and layer up emotion.

    • ‘What’s going on?’ I asked.  
    • John glanced over his shoulder. ‘We’re heading to the stakeout,’ he whispered.
    • My stomach lurched. There was no hiding now, only damage control. ‘Well, I’m coming.’
    • He paused, eyes narrowed, considering. ‘Fine. Just don’t hold us up.’

    Ditch maid-and-butler dialogue

    This is the fancy name for the kind of dialogue that repeats what characters already know for the benefit of the reader. It’s another form of info-dumping and is best avoided:

    • ‘As you know, I moved to Sydney ten years ago from a small town in the outback.’
    • ‘You know how Cheryl was the one to catch John with his hands in the till?’

    If you’re using dialogue to catch the reader up on backstory, see if you can find a more compelling way of sharing the information.

    • ‘It’s funny – Sydney still doesn’t feel like home, even after ten years. I guess you can’t really ever shake the outback out of someone.’
    • ‘John’s getting out of prison on Monday. Do you think anyone’s warned Cheryl? I reckon he’s out for revenge.’

    Consider character background

    The most important note I can give you is to consider characterisation. From your POV characters to your supporting cast, each person should have their own voice. How would their upbringing, their background, their age and their personality affect their word choice, syntax and rhythm? When you nail this, your readers will know who’s talking without you even having to tell them. And that’s when you’ve nailed the craft of dialogue.

    If you’d like more help with your dialogue, get in touch for a free sample edit of your project. 

    Ready to learn how to punctuate dialogue? Head here.

  • Editing, Writing

    Trust issues: Why trusting your reader is vital for strong storytelling

    A lack of trust can erode your story in subtle ways. Here’s how it tends to show up and how to show your reader you trust them.

    Two women sit on a couch with a pile of books and papers between them.

    As a journalist, one of the most common questions I field when interviewing people is: “Can I see the article before it goes to print?”

    Even though I’m used to it, I can’t help but sigh whenever they ask.

    Why? Inevitably, the subject of your article will want to make changes.

    On a journalistic level that’s a huge no-no as it compromises the integrity of your work. But even for a softer piece (ie: not the stuff of Walkley Awards), it can be an issue if your subject baulks at off-the-cuff comments they made that bring life and 

    colour to the story, and attempts to replace them with bland, pre-prepared answers.

    What I wish I could tell them is: Trust me to do my job well. Trust that others won’t judge you for showing a little personality.

    Trust is key in fiction writing too.

    Not only do you need to trust that a far-off reader will one day enjoy the story you’re working so hard to write, but you have to trust that future reader to get it – the joke, the emotion, the connections.

    In short, trust that your reader is smart enough to pick up what you’re putting down.

    As an editor, something I see a lot is writers who don’t yet trust their reader. It tends to show up in their work in two big ways.

    The big-picture info dump

    The first is with long blocks of backstory or world-building information that tell the reader exactly what they need to know right off the bat. We call these ‘info dumps’ because, well, you get it.

    This often looks like exposition that summarises the story’s setting or context before any action occurs. Or it might be a character reflecting on something important that happened to them in the past in lengthy detail.

    If you come across this in your work, see if you can show the information instead. Make your protagonist active in the world you’re creating and allow important details to come out organically as they interact with the setting and other characters.

    If it’s backstory that’s important to a character’s current situation, consider whether you need to give the reader all of it in one go. Maybe you can hint at a past betrayal or hurt at a critical moment and build up those hints with more detail as the story unfolds to create intrigue.

    And in both cases, resist the urge to repeat key details. Trust that your reader will be banking this info in their memory as they absorb the story.

    The sentence-level tells

    Another way a lack of trust shows up is with adverbial speech tags and/or explanations after dialogue.

    For instance, if you write something like:

    • ‘I hate that this is happening again,’ he shouted angrily, reminding her that they had already had this argument, over and over, and nothing had changed.

    Consider if you’re going a little too far in telling the reader what’s happening. Is the dialogue enough to a) convey that he’s angry, and b) tell the reader that the characters have been in this situation before? Yes and yes.

    A simple solution is to cut the adverb ‘angrily’. The speech tag ‘shouted’ does the job.

    But what about the rest of the line? Rather than hammering the point home to ensure your reader picks up on the significance of this moment, what if you show it through the POV character’s reaction?

    • ‘I hate that this is happening again,’ he shouted.
      She closed her eyes. It would be different this time. It had to be.

    This rework immediately creates curiosity in the reader. They understand that this is something that’s happened before. Now they’re asking, What happened? And why does it need to change?

    Learning to trust your reader in this way can be scary – it feels a lot like giving up control. What if they don’t get it? What if they miss something important?

    But trust in fiction is also about respect. When you take care not to over-explain, you convey to the reader that you respect their intelligence and their role in bringing your story to life.

    Because when you think about it, writing and reading is a collaboration. You’re teaming up with your reader to conjure the world and characters you’ve created in their imagination.

    The reader is trusting you to tell them a great story. Trust them to understand it.

    This post originally appeared in my fortnightly newsletter. If you’d like writing advice like this sent directly to your inbox, sign up via the form below. And if you’re looking for an editor you can trust with your story, reach out for a free sample edit of 1000 words.

  • Editing, How-to, Writing

    Tips for using expletives in fiction

    Do you use expletives in your fiction writing? Here are some pointers to keep in mind when you’re dropping those swear bombs.

    I’m here for expletives in writing – a well-timed F bomb or a creative obscenity can inject tension, humour and relatability into dialogue and inner narratives. But like anything, too much can ruin the effect. Here are some pointers to keep in mind when you’re writing expletives into your fiction. 

    Don’t overdo it

    The first rule of expletives is: the more you use them, the less impact they have. Most readers won’t notice if your characters don’t swear, but they will notice (and might be put off) if they’re total potty mouths. Try to hold back and drop in those swear words only when they’re really need to enhance a dramatic moment or reveal character.

    Remember, dialogue isn’t supposed to be a perfectly accurate portrayal of real speech; it just gives the impression of real speech, but is usually far more concise, clear and engaging. So even though you might throw around a lot of casual swear words in your everyday conversations with friends, the same sort of carefree cursing might not translate authentically on the page.

    For inspiration on how to write tension without profanities, check out Lee Child’s work – although he writes gritty action thrillers, he famously doesn’t use any graphic language.

    They’re not a shortcut to character

    It’s a common trap to stuff sentences with expletives (effing, damn etc) in an effort to create a tough character or a distinctly masculine voice, especially if you’re not used to writing these types of characters. Problem is, not only is this tiring on the ear, it doesn’t really tell us much about who this character is. 

    Instead, spend some time getting to know your character, thinking about their influences and background to inform the speech patterns and delivery styles that would make sense for them. For instance, a softly spoken threat or insult can be far more powerful than an angry ‘eff off’.

    Use it when it’s least expected

    Contrast is a great way to capture your readers’ attention. Do you have a prim character who always does the right thing? Someone who blushes or bristles at the slightest hint of a four-letter word? Let them drop a spicy swear bomb in a pressurised moment and enjoy the shockwaves.

    Be creative

    A creative swearer is far more interesting and enjoyable to read than a regular curser. Leaning into more unexpected profanities can inject humour into a scene and tell us a lot about your character.

    Take inspiration from Shakespeare, the master of foul-mouthed rants and insults, like this one from Henry IV: “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”

    Ouch, right?!

    Or follow Douglas Adams’ lead and reassign meaning to an unlikely word for laughs. In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, ‘Belgium’ is considered the most offensive word in the universe.

    When not to use expletives

    Expletives won’t be right for all kinds of books. For instance, if you’re writing middle grade or young adult fiction, it might not be appropriate to use swearing so you’ll need to find another way to allow your characters to let off verbal steam. 

    I’ve also heard that it’s best to avoid swearing in the opening pages of your novel, lest you put off readers sampling the first chapter. The theory goes that they might overlook some casual cursing once the story gets going and they’re familiar with the characters, but can be offended if they see it straight off the bat.

    I’m not a fan of prescriptive rules like these – and you’ll find plenty of fantastic books that break them – but it can be worth bearing in mind and considering whether all of your expletives really need to be on the page or if you can find a better way to get your character’s point across. Are you using expletives to ramp up intensity, and would an action beat or tighter dialogue do a more effective job?

    Finally, it has to make sense for your voice too. If it doesn’t feel good for you to use swear words in your fiction, it won’t work on the page, so don’t feel that you have to include them just to make a character sound authentic.

    Want help fine-tuning your writing and feedback on your use of profanities? Contact me about line and copyediting for your novel.

  • Editing, Writing

    When is the best time to work with beta readers?

    Here are my top three tips for authors preparing to send their work out to beta readers

    A question fiction authors often ask me is: When should I get beta readers involved in my process? Before or after editing? Early on in my drafting process or just before publishing?

    (For the uninitiated, a beta reader is someone who reads and gives feedback on your unpublished work. It’s a sense-test for how your novel will be received by your ideal audience.)

    For the most part I’m a bit of a fence-sitter in my replies, because I don’t think there’s one right way to work with beta readers, just as there isn’t one right way to write a book.

    Bu-ut … I do have some thoughts that might be helpful to keep in mind if you’re considering working with beta readers. Here’s my two cents.

    There is such a thing as ‘too soon’

    If you’ve just finished a first draft of your story you might be feeling excited or anxious to get an outside perspective. You’ve been deep in the weeds with it and you want to know now before you go any further if you’re on the right track.

    The trouble with sending your work out to beta readers at this stage is that you can end up thoroughly confused by their responses. If you’re not sure yet where your story is going, your readers won’t be either, and they’re more likely to give you unclear or random feedback that has the potential to muddle your vision.

    While beta readers are sometimes writers themselves, it’s not necessarily the case, and they may not have the language or knowledge to express why something feels off in your story.

    My advice is to hold off on beta reading until later in your process when you’ve locked down the big-picture elements and you can articulate specific areas you’d like reader feedback on, such as pacing, plot predictability or character relatability.

    If you do want that early reader input, consider working with a critique partner (for example, a fellow writer who understands the conventions of plot and character) or joining a writing group or course, where you’re more likely to get targeted, useful feedback.

    Choose your beta readers wisely

    If you’re writing in a specific genre, it’s important to connect with beta readers who regularly read and enjoy that genre. These are your ideal readers, the people who are likely to buy your book when it’s published.

    That might sound obvious, but consider this scenario: one of your good friends is a big reader and you really respect their opinion, so you’ve shared your manuscript with them. But your friend is a fan of crime and literary fiction, and you’re writing romance.

    If your beta readers don’t understand the conventions of romance or enjoy the type of story that has a happy ever after, your novel’s plot might not engage them and they could suggest changes that aren’t suitable for your genre or trope. Worse, you might end up feeling crappy about your story just because it didn’t hit with someone outside your target readership.

    Take your time responding to feedback

    When you receive feedback, take the time to let it sink in before you make changes. As writers we can doubt our own decision-making and defer to others’ opinions, but making knee-jerk decisions based on an array of responses can end up giving your manuscript a Frankenstein feel.

    If, say, you receive feedback that one of your characters is annoying and unlikeable, consider how you might respond to that. Should you remove the character? That’s an option – but what flow-on effects would that have?

    Perhaps the feedback is really telling you that your character needs more development on the page so readers can understand what’s driving their behaviours.

    The same goes for plot points that beta readers might flag as dull – rather than cut or replace them, how could you raise the stakes and tension?

    Commonalities in beta readers’ feedback are worth noting, but don’t feel compelled to respond to every quibble your readers have raised. Remember, as the author, you know your story and characters best. Take what resonates and feel free to disregard what doesn’t.

    I’d love to know – do you work with beta readers? What tips would you give other authors?

    If you enjoyed this post, sign up to my newsletter! Every fortnight I share tips, advice and thoughts on writing and editing with my community. You’ll also receive my free guide, How to Know You’re Ready for Editing.

  • Editing, How-to

    How to punctuate dialogue in fiction

    Polishing your dialogue punctuation is an easy way to make your manuscript look professional and keep who’s speaking clear for your reader.

    Proper dialogue punctuation isn’t just about following the rules. It makes the reading experience seamless and enjoyable for your audience, allowing them to focus on the conversation and immerse in the scene you’ve created.

    There are two big problems with inconsistent or incorrect punctuation. The first is that it pulls your reader out of the story as they trip over confusing sentences or grammar faux pas. The second is that it immediately marks you as an amateur. And that’s the last thing you want to flag to potential readers, agents or publishers.

    So, here’s how to punctuate dialogue in fiction properly, from the basics to some next-level tips (and yes, these apply to non-fiction writers too). 

    Which quote marks to use?

    Choose from either single or double quote marks and stick with it.

    Books published in Australia and the UK tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles for quoting within the quote.

    • For example: ‘Hey, do you like that song “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’

    US books (and Australian newspapers and magazines, just to keep us on our toes) reverse this, using double quotes with nested singles: 

    • “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa’s new song, ‘Illusion’.”

    You can choose which you prefer; I promise it doesn’t matter. The only rule is to be consistent with your choice.

    Do I have to use quote marks?

    Nope! Some good alternatives might be to put speech in italics, or to use dashes before dialogue, with each speaker taking a new line, the way you might see it set out in a transcript or play. (This can be confusing if there are more than two speakers, however!) But honestly, I don’t recommend going without quote marks altogether. Readers are so familiar with quote marks they barely register them. But when they’re missing, they really notice it. It can trip up some readers as they struggle to differentiate between narrative prose and dialogue, and that can pull them out of the story, which is the last thing you want.

    For some authors it’s a stylistic choice – and that’s totally fine. Sarah Winman, Kate Grenville and Deborah Levy are among the modern authors who have chosen this approach. If you love that style (and you’re writing literary fiction), go for it!

    My advice, however, is to leave this controversial move to the literary greats and use quote marks for your dialogue, especially you’re writing commercial genre fiction. Don’t give your readers a reason to put your book down!

    How to punctuate dialogue with a speech tag

    OK, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

    Speech tags are phrases that report how a character is speaking, such as said/says, reply/replied, ask/asked. They’re so common that they’re often as ‘invisible’ to readers as quote marks.

    When a speech tag follows dialogue, use a comma before the closing quote mark. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ said Violet.
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes,” said Violet.

    Don’t place the comma outside the closing quote mark, like this:

    • Wrong: ‘Amber, I love your shoes’, said Violet.
    • Wrong: “Amber, I love your shoes”, said Violet.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, a comma before the closing quote mark is NOT needed. 

    Here are some examples with both single and double quote marks:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!,’ Violet said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.
    • Wrong: “Do you really like them?,” Amber replied.
    • Right: “Do you really like them?” Amber replied.

    And even though it goes against what you learned at primary school, don’t be tempted to use a capital letter for the word following a question mark or exclamation mark in dialogue. For example:

    • Wrong: ‘I love your shoes!’ She said.
    • Right: ‘I love your shoes!’ she said.

    The exception: if you’re using a proper noun:

    • ‘I love your shoes!’ Violet said.

    What about if you want to put a speech tag before the speech? Use a comma after the speech tag and before the opening quote mark. Then finish the dialogue with a full stop inside the quote marks.

    • Violet said, ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Amber replied, ‘Thank you, I got them on sale.’

    How to punctuate dialogue without a speech tag

    You might not always want to use a speech tag. Once your characters are in the rhythm of a conversation, you don’t need to indicate who is speaking every time, because the convention of putting each speaker’s dialogue on a new line keeps it clear. In this case, simply finish the dialogue with a full stop (or other terminal punctuation like a question mark or exclamation mark) inside the quote marks. For example:

    • Single quotes: ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’
    • Double quotes: “Amber, I love your shoes.”
    • Single quotes: ‘Thank you, I really like them too!’
    • Double quotes: “Thank you, I really like them too!”

    How to punctuate dialogue with action beats

    Action beats show how a character is moving or reacting during dialogue. They’re similar to speech tags in that they indicate who is speaking, but they add a little extra characterisation that allows the author to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’, so they’re a great device to use in fiction.

    To punctuate dialogue with an action beat instead of a speech tag, use a full stop before the closing quote mark instead of a comma. The action beat is in bold in the examples below. (Note: I’ll use single quotes for the rest of these examples – the punctuation is exactly the same when using double quote marks.)

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet crouched down for a closer look.
    • ‘Really? Thank you.’ Amber glowed with pleasure at the compliment.

    If the speech ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, use that as your terminal punctuation instead of a full stop.

    • ‘Thanks, Violet!’ Amber blushed.

    Keep an eye out for action beats masquerading as speech tags. For instance, laugh, smile, frown, sigh, wink and yawn are actions, not speech. So, if you catch something like:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber winked.

    Change the comma to a full stop, as you would when using an action beat:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes.’ Violet smiled.
    • ‘Thanks.’ Amber winked.

    If you want to combine a speech tag with an action beat, use a comma to separate the speech tag from the action beat, like this:

    • ‘Amber, I love your shoes,’ Violet said, crouching down for a closer look.
    • ‘Thanks,’ Amber replied, twisting her ankle to show off the strappy heel.

    How to punctuate dialogue interruptions and trailing off

    To show someone’s voice trailing off, use an ellipsis inside the quote marks. No other terminal punctuation is needed. For bonus points, avoid telling the reader that the speaker’s voice has trailed off. The ellipsis does that work for you.

    • ‘Could I borrow them?’ Violet asked.
    • ‘I guess …’ Amber said.

    (Try to avoid writing: ‘I guess …’ Amber said, trailing off.)

    Here’s another example:

    • Wrong: ‘I wonder if …,’
    • Right: ‘I wonder if …’

    If you want to show speech that has been interrupted or broken off, use an em dash at the end of the interrupted sentence. No full stop or comma is needed after the dash, just your closing quote mark:

    • Right: ‘Wow, those shoes are—’ 
    • Wrong: ‘Wow, those shoes are—.’

    How to differentiate speakers

    Remember when I said above that you don’t always need to use a speech tag to tell a reader who is saying what? The conventional way to indicate different speakers in a conversation is to put each speaker’s dialogue on a new line. This is a tried-and-true format that makes dialogue easy to follow without too many overt cues.

    Even if the speaker isn’t speaking but simply reacting to something that the other character has said, put that action on a new line too. Otherwise you risk confusing your reader. For example, if you wrote:

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said. ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    The reader will likely be confused for a second, because with both speakers’ dialogue and Amber’s reaction on the one line, it’s hard to differentiate between who said what. Instead, place Amber’s response and reaction on a new line to avoid confusing readers even for an instant.

    • ‘Wow, those shoes are amazing,’ Violet said.
    • ‘I know.’ Amber looked smug.

    How to punctuate dialogue that’s broken up with a speech tag or action beat

    Say you want to break up one character’s dialogue with a speech tag. This can be helpful to break up long stretches of dialogue and to enhance characterisation. Here’s how you’d do it if you were placing a speech tag between two complete sentences:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said. ‘Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone.’

    In this case, I don’t care what you think and Your opinion doesn’t matter to anyone are separate sentences, so you simply punctuate the first sentence with a comma as you would any other dialogue. There’s no need to add a speech tag to the second sentence because it’s already clear who’s speaking, so a full stop before the closing quote mark is all that’s needed.

    If you’re inserting an action beat between two complete sentences, there’s no need for a comma at the end of the first sentence because, as shown above, it isn’t followed by a speech tag. So a full stop before the closing quote mark in both sentences is all that’s required. Take a look at this example:

    • ‘I didn’t want you to come.’ Joan crossed her arms. ‘I just want to be alone.’

    If your speech tag interrupts one sentence rather than two complete sentences, use a comma after the speech tag and a lower case letter in the next clause to indicate the sentence is continuing. Here are a couple of examples:

    • ‘I don’t care what you think,’ he said, ‘because your opinion means nothing to me.’
    • ‘We went to the shops,’ she said quickly, ‘then the pool, then the library.’

    What about if you want to break up the sentence with an action beat rather than a speech tag? This can be a great way to add tension or emotion to a scene. In this case, use dashes outside the quote marks to separate the speech from the action. No commas are needed. Take a look at these examples:

    • ‘I told you’ – Amy jabbed a finger at his chest – ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • ‘What if he’s not guilty? What if he really is’ – Aaron swallowed roughly – ‘innocent?’

    If you’re using em dashes, it would look like this:

    • ‘I told you’—Amy jabbed a finger at his chest—‘I’m not giving up.’

    Remember, if the action is related to another speaker, it needs to be treated carefully. Ideally you’d put it on a new line, otherwise it can look like the speech is coming from a different character to the one you intended. Consider this line of Amy’s from above, interrupted with an action from Aaron and punctuated as though it were a speech tag:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Aaron glanced at her, shocked, ‘I’m not giving up.’

    It reads as though Aaron is speaking, right? That’s because the commas before the quote marks signal to your practiced reader eye that a speech tag is coming. Using a speech tag or adding dashes and tweaking the action beat to include Amy would fix it:

    • Speech tag: ‘I don’t care what you say,’ Amy replied, and Aaron glanced at her, shocked. ‘I’m not giving up.’
    • Dashes: ‘I don’t care what you say’ – Amy narrowed her eyes as Aaron shook his head – ‘I’m not giving up.’

    If the action interrupting dialogue is related to a different character and is followed by their speech, place the action and speech on a new line. In this example, Aaron follows his glance with dialogue:

    • ‘I don’t care what you say!’ Amy replied.
    • Aaron glanced at her. ‘It’s dangerous, Amy. I think you should reconsider.’
    • ‘I’m not giving up.’

    Common dialogue punctuation mistakes

    Let’s rehash. Dialogue punctuation is super important because getting it right guides your reader and helps them to stay immersed in the story. There are lots of nuances to dialogue punctuation, but I’ve covered the most common ones fiction writers are likely to encounter here.

    The dialogue mistakes I regularly see in fiction and non-fiction manuscripts:

    • – Using quote marks inconsistently
    • – Placing commas or full stops outside the closing punctuation mark
    • – Punctuating action beats as speech tags.

    Getting a handle on these will give your manuscript a professional edge and mark you as a serious writer. And even better, when you know how to punctuate dialogue properly, you can focus on making that dialogue shine.

    If you have any more questions about how to punctuate dialogue in fiction, drop me a line! And if you’d like help wrangling your manuscript’s grammar, get in touch with me to chat about a line and copyedit for your project. I offer a free sample edit so you can see exactly how copyediting will enhance your storytelling and clarify your message.

  • Editing, How-to

    5 ways to improve your manuscript

    Good news! These tips don’t involve any writing.

    Feeling a bit of writer’s block? Don’t worry, there are lots of ways to improve your manuscript without having to labour over sentences and story arc.

    Here are five ways to give your work-in-progress a lift, without lifting your word count.

    1. Brush up formatting

    Go through your manuscript and make sure each chapter is set on a new page (use a page break instead of hitting that return button), chapters are numbered in order, and you’ve used an easy-to-read font like Times New Roman 12 pt, with double or 1.5 line spacing.

    This will instantly improve your manuscript by giving it a more consistent and professional appearance, and save you time later when you’re getting it ready to submit to publishers or agents.

    2. Check regional spelling

    Did you know there are lots of variations of English? Depending on your target audience, you can choose the one your readers will be most familiar with. If you’re publishing in Australia, use Australian English. This means you’ll be following the Macquarie Dictionary for spelling variations. If you’re aiming for the US market, go with US English – the Merriam-Webster is a great resource (and it’s free!). For British readers, use UK English and the Oxford Dictionary.

    Choosing a regional English language helps you to maintain consistency across your manuscript. It ensures you catch words that are spelled differently in different countries – like curb and kerb, cosy and cozy – and it will guide you on regional terms such as trash can or garbage bin, sidewalk or pavement, lollies or candy, cell phone or mobile phone – the list goes on.

    3. Look at consistency

    I can’t emphasise enough how important consistency is in making a finished manuscript look professional! As the author, you get to make a lot of decisions about the words you want to use and your preferred spelling variations to ensure consistency. Run searches for words that can be spelled differently, such as OK vs okay, and choose one to use throughout. You should also check whether you’ve used punctuation such as quote marks (single or double) and dashes (en or em) consistently throughout.

    Note: in Australia, we tend to use single quote marks with nested doubles, eg: ’Hey, did you hear that song, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter?’ The US tends to reverse this: double quotes with nested singles, eg: “No, I much prefer Dua Lipa‘s new song, ’Illusion’.

    Consistency affects loads of elements: You can also make a note of how you’ll use numbers (as a basic starting point, we often see numbers one to ninety-nine spelled out and 100+ as numerals in books), show time (words or figures), address capitalisation in headings, punctuate abbreviations and more.

    And of course, it affects aspects such as character features and setting details as well. Taking note of whether your main character has blue eyes and always wears rose-scented perfume will ensure you don’t confuse readers by mixing up those foundational details later in the story.

    4. Review character names

    Do any of your characters have similar sounding names? If you have two characters with names that look and sound alike – Dave and Dan or Lisa and Liz, for instance – it’s a good idea to change one of them, to ensure readers don’t get confused about who’s doing what. This applies to minor characters too!

    Even if you don’t think your characters’ names are similar, they can appear that way on the page to a reader who’s skimming over a paragraph. So even sharing the same initial can be enough to warrant changing a character name.

    While you’re there, keep an eye out for characters’ names that have changed during the course of the novel. This happens more often than you might think!

    5. Weed out repetition

    Do you already know which words you have a tendency to use in every second sentence? If so, do a search and see how many instances you can remove to ensure they don’t become repetitive. This applies to elements such as speech tags and action beats, too. You might find you’re often making your characters fiddle with their hair or exclaim loudly!

    If you haven’t yet twigged to your crutch words, start by searching for adverbs: really, very, finally, actually and completely are common, and most of the time you don’t need them. Take a look and see how many you can weed out! It’ll make your writing so much stronger.

    Don’t feel bad that you’ve developed a writing crutch – it’s natural to reach for the same words over and over, especially when working on a full-length novel. Looking out for them so you can change it up is all part of the editing process – and it’s a powerful way to improve your manuscript.

    Want some help maintaining consistency in your work? Reach out about line and copyediting. I’ll look out for all these aspects and more, and will record all decisions in a style sheet so you can keep track of your preferences throughout the publishing process.